As a show of solidarity for silenced 13-year-old blogger Austin (of Ponderings of a Political Teen), protein wisdom will remain dark for the rest of the morning. At least, y’know, until I shower and get back from Best Buy. Remember: You can silence our blogs, but YOU CANNOT TAKE OUR FREEDOM!* **** ©THE ALLIANCE OF CITIZEN JOURNALISTS **** update: FREE AUSTIN T-SHIRTS© now available thru my Cafe Press store.* Austin
February 2005
February 3, 2005
Wow
The last time I teamed with a buddy to beat up a 13-year old we were both 9. But a tough 9. Like a couple of tiny, wiry bulls. Not that I’m passing judgment, mind you.
February 3, 2005
in which I sum up the official Democratic response to the State of the Union address
Iraq: DON’T BELIEVE YOUR EYES! IT’S A FREAKING MESS! Social Security: WITH OUR PLAN, EVERYONE GETS BENEFITS FOR EVER AND EVER, AND NOTHING EVER NEED CHANGE. WITH THE PRESIDENT’S PLAN? HELL ON EARTH AND ETERNAL DAMNATION (SECULARLY SPEAKING), WITH SENIORS FORCED TO SURVIVE ON FRUIT ROLL-UPS AND TANG CRYSTALS. WHILE SLEEPING IN SEWAGE. The War on Terror: WE ARE NOT SAFE! BUSH HAS NOT MADE US SAFE! THE ONLY REASON
February 2, 2005
Notes from a CITIZEN JOURNALIST, 2
A source close to protein wisdom is reporting that President Bush will give some sort of big speech this evening, and that in this speech he will make frequent use of the word “freedom.” More once I’m able to corroborate the details. **** update: If—as is the case with this CITIZEN JOURNALIST—you have exorbitant credit card debt and no reliable source of income, the latest recently-announced Fed hike in short-term
February 2, 2005
Overheard inside a Falluja bunker, Wednesday, Feb 2.
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi: “As a result of our failure to derail Sunday’s populist scramble for libertine ‘freedoms,’’ the Great Satan has achieved something of a public relations coup. To counter this temporary setback to our cause, I propose we execute a series of coordinated attacks on high-ranking Iraqi election officials—car bombs, sniper attacks, ambush assassinations, that sort of thing. Agreed?” First Militant: “You got my vote, big guy!” Abu Musab
February 2, 2005
My second brief conversation with the ghost of Tony Randall
Me: “So do they have, like, TV in heaven…?†Ghost of Tony Randall: “Blech. Do not get me started on the programming here.†Me: “Lot of gospel singing and such, eh?†Ghost of Tony Randall: “I wish. No, more like ‘Dukes of Hazard,’ ‘B.J. and the Bear,’ ‘Alice’—turns out God is something of a red state secularist.†Me: “Or else… maybe you’re in hell?” Ghost of Tony Randall: “Well, that
February 2, 2005
It reminds me of something
But I can’t quite put my finger on it…. **** update: Anne Frank, maybe?