Iraq: DON’T BELIEVE YOUR EYES! IT’S A FREAKING MESS!
Social Security: WITH OUR PLAN, EVERYONE GETS BENEFITS FOR EVER AND EVER, AND NOTHING EVER NEED CHANGE. WITH THE PRESIDENT’S PLAN? HELL ON EARTH AND ETERNAL DAMNATION (SECULARLY SPEAKING), WITH SENIORS FORCED TO SURVIVE ON FRUIT ROLL-UPS AND TANG CRYSTALS. WHILE SLEEPING IN SEWAGE.
The War on Terror: WE ARE NOT SAFE! BUSH HAS NOT MADE US SAFE! THE ONLY REASON WE HAVEN’T BEEN ATTACKED SINCE 911 IS THAT ISLAMISTS USE A DIFFERENT CALENDAR. TO THEM, IT’S ONLY BEEN, LIKE, 5 DAYS SINCE THEY ATTACKED! BUT WHEN THAT FIRST WEEK ENDS…LOOK OUT!
Healthcare: BUSHCO IS GOING TO KILL YOU! KILL YOU! BUT STICK WITH US AND CHRISTOPHER REEVE RISES FROM THE GRAVE AND WALKS!
BOO BOOOOOOOO!
****
update: In a sure sign the apocalypse is nigh, Andrew Sullivan (speaking, presumably, for the right) and Ana Maria Cox (speaking, presumably, for Nick Denton) are providing the after-address analysis on CNN.
Over/under on number of times Wolf Blitzer thinks “ass-fucking” during the interview: 17
HOME……RUN! Best speech he’s given in a long time. I could have done without the vague platitudes and more spending programs on the domestic side, but he came out swinging and said some things no-one expected, like on defense of marriage, among other things. The moment when the Iraqi woman and the soldier’s mom embraced and she gave her his dog tags had me tearing up.
Did you notice when the jackasses on the Dem side booed when he said SS would be bankrupt by 2042? Assholes.
Pelosi is the poor man’s Joan Rivers.
Her face is suprisingly tight, she looks like she’s in a constant state of suprise.
Pelosi looks like she could use some extra fiber in her diet.
Actually, she looks like she could use some Vitamin D.
update: HA!….but what’s the over-under on which type of ass-fucking?
I AM A CITIZEN BOOKIE, AND THE 17 POINT OVER/UNDER FOR WOLF IS THE WEAKEST I’VE SEEN SINCE ANNA MARIE INVENTED ASS FUCKING……..
Too high, or too low?
What’s Andrew’s over/under?
What would the over/under have been if the spot was moderated by Anderson Cooper?
Did anyone notice if Pelosi ever blinked? I bet my cousin Earnesto $50.00 she’s an automaton.
Um, I hate to admit this, but she looked kinda hot tonight…
Ya got to admit, Jeff, like me, if you weren’t married, you’d do Wonkette… Oh sure, you’d do the classic “I’ll call you (but not really)” maneuver, but you’d want to find out if she really did have those fetishes she purports to have.
Hmm, the spam prevention word I got was “stop”; Obviously, God is sending me a signal.
Nancy Pelosi is made of plastic. And for the dems booing SS, what a joke. They are losing more groud everyday!
Um yeah, President Pants Down said in his 1998 SOTU address “What should we do with this projected surplus?” Clinton said. “I have a simple four-word answer: Save Social Security first.” He then went on to explain the “crisis” that was SS. Hmm, wonder what the Dems are gonna try next?
Jeff, but in asking for the over/under don’t you have to deal with the team has too many receivers?
Forget CNN, Sully & Wonkette should be on ESPN Baseball Tonight. They’ve each taken more balls to the chin than Minnie Minoso.
Balls to the chin? I bet that would hurt.
And ass-fuckin’ is just plain wrong. Them critters can kick like the dickens.
Anyway, that’s what God made sheep for.
Alright!! A Minnie Minoso reference!
Speaking of which, I’ve just sent a Western Union telegram to Nancy Pelosi’s office, asking the following question: “If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?”
I’ll take the under for fifty bucks. Now all we have to do is ask Wolf Blitzer to settle the bet…
Actually, she looks like she could use some Vitamin D.
Sorry, I meant to say an injection of Vitamin D
And don’t forget: YELLOW PEOPLE WANT TO STEAL THE CUSHY JOBS!!! THEY SHOULD RIGHTFULLY BE OUR JANITORS WHILE WE DO THE PROGRAMMING. BASTARD YELLOW PEOPLE WANT TO STEAL AMERICA’S RIGHTFUL POSITION OF HAVING ALL OF THE GOOD JOBS IN THE WORLD WHILE THEY SUPPORT US LIKE LITTLE YELLOW COOLIES! A VOTE FOR THE DEMOCRATS IS A VOTE FOR COLONIALISM, BUT NOT AGAINST THE ARABS, CUZ THEY WILL SHOOT BACK. SO WE WILL JUST GIVE THEM DICTATORSHIP IN IRAQ AND MAKE SURE THE IRAQI MILITARY IS STRONG ENOUGH TO SHOOT ANY OF THEM WHO WANT TO BECOME COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS.
I’m waiting for Nancy (Fire Marshal Bill) Pelosi to have a foaming at the mouth Gran Mal Siezure on live television from obvious Botox poisoning.
After seeing her tonight. It’s only a matter of time.
Outstanding After Action Report/Translation, protein!
Jack.
I can’t believe you didn’t mention Harry Reid’s “I was born the son of a poor black sharecropper in the Deep South” shtick – I almost spit wine all over the sofa.
I think that explains Pelosi’s wooden stare: even she must have been sitting there thinking, “… MUST…NOT LAUGH….”
Booing during the SOTU? What the hell? Is Congress becoming England’s Parlament now, or what? Flippin’ ‘tards.
I’m convinced that Pelosi has no eyelids.
I don’t get it. What does Anna Nicole Cox have to do with “ass-fucking?”
She’s female, that’s good enough for me.
I still can’t get the image of Biden’s wife in tight black leather pants out of my head.
Hmm… pants …
I see the average mental age of the Democrats in Congress is now dropping below 12. Shouting at a SOTU address? Unbelievable.
Um yeah, President Pants Down said in his 1998 SOTU address “What should we do with this projected surplus?†Clinton said. “I have a simple four-word answer: Save Social Security first.†He then went on to explain the “crisis†that was SS.
Well, see, there was a looming crisis, back when we had the best economy ever thanks to the genius of Clinton. But then Chimpy McHitler came along and destroyed the economy and sent all our jobs to China, so now there’s no crisis.
Or, um, something.
I was more than a little shocked by the booing myself–how crass. But thanks, Jeff and all for the update cuz I turned the channel and watched CSI as soon as President Bush left the hall. CANNOT tolerate the absolute CRAP the Dems are spewing. Not enough wine in the house to put up with that…
Well hey Bush could have said “I hate Democrats and everything they stand for”
I notice that not many republican senators use the word “hate”, usually it’s kept to the Church of the Creator or blogs or something. But more and more DNC higher-ups are talking about how much they hate us. It’s going to starthurting my feelings soon.
Even my Democrat friends say “Republicans are all evil liars. Oh not you, you are one of the good ones.” yeah uh huh.
Sorry for the shameless plugs.
Wow. I guess Jim Jones was on to something. 50+ million can’t be wrong.
Over/under on number of times Wolf Blitzer thinks “ass-fucking†during the interview: 17
When he looks at Andrew or Ana Marie?
“When he looks at Andrew or Ana Marie?”
Yes.
From http://www.house.gov/pelosi/
“Pelosi Delivers Prebuttal to State of the Union Address”
Prebuttal?
Now, that really is too damn much. Sheesh.
Hume on FNC said the Republicans booed Clinton at the 95 SOTU but I don’t remember that.
Jay, I already did that joke hours ago.
Well, if we’re going to be making claims, I believe I got there first, Robin.
Uh, OK, Craig … if you are sure that is how you want to express it. You got there first …
Sure. No problem. I concede your priority.
[…] Our esteemed host’s summary of the Democratic response to the 2005 SotU not only holds up, but serves as a useful preview of what the Democratic response is likely to be in 2008. Posted by Karl @ 4:05 pm | Trackback Share This […]