“Does this mean I have an excuse to skip the naltrexone treatments and find some real, honest to God black tar Horse to take me on one of my legendary rhapsodic gallops through West Hollywood’s club scene? “Fuckin-A, man! It’s like 1987 all over again! Only without Reagan around to nuke the world, and without my admittedly silly decision to try adding rap to my musical repertoire. “Anyway, it’s all
in which celebraties comment on current events
August 19, 2013
Former seventies teen idol Leif Garrett comments on Barbara Streisand’s call to the American people to help Obama and the Democrats take back the House
“I liked What’s Up, Doc? a whole lot. But once she did Yentl? I mean, bro. I may have had a slight problem with heroin, and sure, I’ve had to give a handjob or two to some dude in a stall at the Whisky if I was in a bad way and needed a balloon. But the last time I took myself seriously, or was so ridiculously self-indulgent, was when
March 6, 2013
Corey Haim’s “Notes from the Afterlife,” 13
So, like, this big shot dignitary arrived here late yesterday, and there’s been a huge amount of buzz about the dude, who rumor has it is a Latin American politician of some significant renown. I haven’t had a chance to see him yet — Brittany Murphy mumbled his name to me while we were chilling out watching a Blossom marathon, but I can’t remember it, and frankly, she was so
August 28, 2012
Former teen idol Leif Garrett comments on the GOP convention battles and Tropical Storm Isaac
“So much fighting, so little peace. How’re we supposed to heal, you know? “– As for Isaac, have I ever told you about my one canceled Love Boat guest star gig? Around ’77, ’78-ish, with Lynda Day George? Well, seems the producers weren’t too thrilled when they found me and Ted Lange on the set of the Lido deck having ourselves a Julie McCoy sandwich. Fortunately for Lange and whatsherface,
October 27, 2011
Former teen idol Leif Garrett comments on social tensions in the civil society and their inevitable manifestations in both TEA Party and Occupy Wall Street protests
“In the late 80s, right after I did Cheerleader Camp, I think, I ‘occupied’ a tarp at Plummer Park in West Hollywood for like, three months, eating nothing but street tacos and Hibachi beans — mostly because I’d sunk all of my money into a crank lab out near Reseda without really knowing a whole lot about that shit works. Turns out you and your friend Kip shouldn’t get drunk
April 1, 2010
Shannon Elizabeth comments on the realization that there really ARE two Americas, just not in the way, say, John Edwards would’ve had you believe
Elizabeth: “Several years back, right after we finished principle shooting for American Pie 2, I think it was, I visited that other America. Montana. For a week. “Can’t say that I remember too too much about it offhand — except for lots of horses, gorgeous cowboys, and really really good steak. Oh. And that Sean Astin didn’t keep showing up at every bar I went to, or send me blurry
March 22, 2010
Former teen idol Leif Garrett comments on the new day in America, where social justice is ascendent, and the tyranny of the white racist patriarchy lays moribund on the ash heap of history
“So, wait. Does this mean that Screech kid has to share his Smack with me by law? Because I’m pretty tired of having to cut his lawn or style his hair just for a little fucking taste, I can tell you that much, brother.”*
November 17, 2008
Former teen idol Leif Garrett comments on the likelihood of Barack Obama appointing justices whose first instinct is to appeal to the Constitution as written, as opposed to the Constitution-as-flawed-document in need of some reanimation by way of appeals to social justice
Garrett: “Well, I’m really not much of political prognosticator — the last candidate I really got into was Jerry Brown, and that’s only because Linda Ronstadt kept chirping about what a principled guy he was. And even then, we were both, like, seriously coked up, and she was in the middle of going down on me in the booth of Hakata’s in Santa Monica at the time — so it’s
October 14, 2008
former teen idol Leif Garrett comments on those who, like the UK Daily Mail’s Edward Heathcote Amory, have, thanks to David Freddoso’s book, “lost faith in Obama”
Garrett: “Well, this is going to be off topic by necessity, since I have no idea who David Freddoso is, but I will say this: guys with names like Edward Heathcote Amory almost always pay extra to be gagged with an argyle stocking and spanked vigorously with a shoe. Which, from an economic standpoint, can mean the difference between black tar heroin and a Big Gulp, and black tar heroin,
Former teen idol Leif Garrett comments on the anti-Israel BDS movement
“Back when we were filming The Outsiders, me, Darren Dalton (who played Randy), and a few extras who played various background Socs would often catch Ralph Macchio alone somewhere on set and we’d donkey punch the shit out of him. I mean, we were merciless, man. “And when the little bitch ratted us out to Francis, we just said, all sincere, that we were working to stay in character for