Me: “So do they have, like, TV in heaven…?â€Â
Ghost of Tony Randall: “Blech. Do not get me started on the programming here.â€Â
Me: “Lot of gospel singing and such, eh?â€Â
Ghost of Tony Randall: “I wish. No, more like ‘Dukes of Hazard,’ ‘B.J. and the Bear,’ ‘Alice’—turns out God is something of a red state secularist.â€Â
Me: “Or else… maybe you’re in hell?”
Ghost of Tony Randall: “Well, that would explain the ‘Hee-Haw’ marathons, sure. But not the harps.”
Poor Mr. Randall. I hate to tell him, but the sound of harps is coming from The Lawrence Welk show…
I heard Glenn is reviving the Hee Haw series under a new moniker: Heh Haw. It will be Knoxville-based instead of Nashville-based and will feature toothless hillbillies fighting with musical instruments a la bumfights.
Woo-hah! Cherubim Junior Samples got you all in check!
The number to call is I got me 72 Hee-Haw Honeys!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Bite me you ragheads!!!!
How dare you, Jeff??!! Hee Haw was a cultural touchstone, an artistic milestone, and a jewel of TV programming which will live on long after you’ve gone to Big Billy Joel Concert in the Sky!
Can’t you just picture Tony Randall joining in a rousing chorus of Hee Haw’s “Gloom, Despair and Agony on me! Deep dark depression, excessive misery! If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. Gloom, Despair and Agony on me!”
Always bitch bitch bitch, huh Randall?
Hee Haw ? With Grampa Jones, Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs ?
God’s own music, son. You mind your manners, now, y’hear ? Don’t go sayin’ somethin’ might get a mudhole stomped in your ass.
Hey now – I happen to enjoy the four-part power harmony of Southern Gospel music. Hee haw? Not so much.
Liberal elites hate Hee Haw and the Dukes of Hazard. Need I say more in their defense?
Defense of Hee Haw and the Dukes of Hazard of course, not Liberal elites. That should go without saying.
Wanna buy my hat?
Who ever said there were harps in heaven?
Just having TV there tells me it’s hell.
I hear Lulu Roman is terrific in the haystack (once you’ve rolled her in flour and found the wet spot).
That’s mouth harps he’s hearing.