In an unrelated story, sources close to this CITIZEN JOURNALIST report the Al Gore is still not president. Developing… **** update: save TRUTH! Dig up pictures of Brit Hume WAVING HIS CONSERVA-BEEF at Fox News contributor Mara Liasson!
February 19, 2005
February 19, 2005
BREAKING: BRIT HUME STILL WASHINGTON EDITOR OF FOX NEWS; LIBERAL BLOGGERS “SET TO WAIT THE LYING FASCIST BASTARD OUT”
February 19, 2005
BREAKING: IN THE BIGGEST FOLLOW-UP TO A NON-STORY SINCE, WELL, MY NEXT POST—IN WHICH I’LL REPORT THAT BRIT HUME HAS YET TO RESIGN UNDER PRESSURE FROM LIBERAL ACTIVISTS UPSET OVER HIS NOT BEING A LIBERAL ACTIVIST HIMSELF—JEFF GANNON TELLS CNN’S ANDERSON COOPER AND THE WASHINGTON POST’S HOWARD KURTZ THAT HE FOLLOWED WHITE HOUSE DAY PASS PROTOCOL, SUBMITTED TO A CURSORY SECURITY CHECK UNDER HIS REAL NAME, DID NOT HAVE SPECIAL ACCESS TO THE LEAKED CIA PLAME DOCUMENTS, AND THAT YES, THOSE PICTURES ARE OF HIS COCK, BUT, LIKE, SO WHAT? (UPDATED)
Lefty blog Crooks and Liars—who, from what I can gather, simply WILL NOT TOLERATE EITHER CROOKS OR LIARS—has the video of Gannon’s appearance on the Anderson Cooper show; meanwhile, AMERICAblog, whose John Aravosis is responsible for outing Gannon (because of the HYPOCRISY!) and for finding and posting pictures of Gannon COCK for a newsjunkie public hungry for COCK and GAY PORN and TRUTH (and really, can the three even be
February 19, 2005
Mile High Dragnet
Talk Left blogged the pursuit and eventual capture of Brent Brents, the recently-released sex offender thought responsible for at least five sexual assaults in the Denver area over the last week. Talk Left is also out of coffee. Which is a shame, because it never should have come to that. AS A CITIZEN JOURNALIST YOU CANNOT LIVE IN FEAR, JERALYN!
February 19, 2005
In honor of Star Jones’ birthday—now only a month and five days away—I give you the following, from the protein wisdom archives (originally posted June 11, 2004)
An exchange that might have taken place on ABC’s “The View” today (had I bothered to watch the show, and had it actually been on) Meredith Vieira: “ […] and of course today is the National Day of Mourning –” Joy Behar: “– for the, uh, the Reagan funeral is today, right? –” Elisabeth Hasselbeck: “– at the National Cathedral, yeah –” Meredith Vieira: “– yes, and there’s no mail
February 19, 2005
It’s Friday, and that means you owe us one dancing arma—
–Not now, okay? I’m tracking several members of an al-Qaeda sleeper cell. Either that, or I’m stalking a family of Hispanics on their way to the casa del taco. Unfortunately, the 500-yard buffer I leave between myself and the targets creates, for my peculiar manner of sleuthing, a significant amount of hermeneutic uncertainty.