Uh huh. And I’m hot for the counter girl at Heavenly Ham. What’s your point? “Hot for Teacher,” Van Halen
February 2005
February 8, 2005
Odd, ends
1. Thanks so much to Mac for the Kinji Fukasaku Yakuza flicks. These films influenced a lot of important American actioners of the ‘70s, an epochal genre that includes some of my favorite films (eg. Friedkin’s The French Connection, or Don Siegel’s Dirty Harry); sincere thanks also to PATRICK SENNETT [whom I confused with the actor Jack Thompson] for The Masterworks Edition of Breaker Morant—a film I haven’t yet seen
February 7, 2005
Slouching toward dementia, 5 (or, my scissors talk to me again)
I’m telling you, man, you want to pluck your eyebrows, not trim them. Or else they’re gonna grow back twice as bushy and unruly. Christ. It’s like you were raised by monkeys or something.
February 7, 2005
Pilgrim’s Progress
From the Corner’s John Derbyshire, posted under the headline “SPURIOUS ACADEMIC DISCIPLINES “: English, of course. We math and science students used to have royal fun scoffing at the Eng Lit crowd. “They’re going to give you a degree JUST FOR READING NOVELS? Hooo hooo hooo!” I still think it’s a joke. Even more of a joke now than it was back in the 1960s, in fact: the folk we
February 7, 2005
9 important differences between accused child molesting pop star Michael Jackson and a toasted english muffin
Michael Jackson: proud owner of a giraffe and a monkey; a toasted english muffin: somewhat reluctant owner of nooks and crannies. Apply butter to a toasted english muffin and the butter melts; apply butter to Michael Jackson and he giggles and calls you “Mr Teasy Tease.” It’s legal for a 9 year old boy to eat a toasted english muffin Very rarely will you ever hear anyone order a Spanish
February 6, 2005
My place in the news universe, defined
Like Malkin and LGF before me, protein wisdom has been denied status as a Google News site—though my rejection email was somewhat different in tone than the ones Michelle and Charles posted on their sites. To wit: Hi Jeff, Thank you for your note. We have reviewed https://www.proteinwisdom.com but cannot include it in Google News at this time. I mean, “bowery mongrels”? Ms. Janeane Garofalo crammed into a “Tandoori bread
Former teen idol Leif Garrett comments on the demotion of a female soldier from the 160th Military Police Battalion photographed exposing her breasts during a Camp Bucca, Iraq, mud wrestling party in October
Garrett: “Demoted, eh? Must have been a fat chick. Or else she had a face like an East German swimmer. Because you spank hotties. You make them beg like puppies. But demote them…? Naw. That just ain’t how life works, brother.”*