Like Malkin and LGF before me, protein wisdom has been denied status as a Google News site—though my rejection email was somewhat different in tone than the ones Michelle and Charles posted on their sites. To wit:
Hi Jeff,
Thank you for your note. We have reviewed https://www.proteinwisdom.com but cannot include it in Google News at this time. I mean, “bowery mongrels”? Ms. Janeane Garofalo crammed into a “Tandoori bread oven”? “Tribbing”? A domestic diva’s fruit-stuffed ”hoohah”?!
Come on, guy. Give us a fucking break, would you? We’re busy here.
Regards,
The Google Team
Well! No need to get personal, Google Team.
And in your defense, at least you had the good sense to include hard-news maverick Wonkette in your stable of CITIZEN JOURNALIST talent.
Which is important, because, y’know, how else would we news junkies know who in DC is ass-fucking whom?
You know, that phrase up there has always made me snicker. Thanks for my daily, Jeff. At least those of us who read you regularly aren’t having it done to us.
Man, you made the ole switcheroo there before I could make my own sodomy joke! No fair!
Heh. Well, the more the merrier. Anal sex is ALWAYS FUN!
I guess you backed right into that one, Sean.
I was doing okay until you mentioned that Wonkette had made the cut. Say fucking what?
That’s an insane double standard if ever I heard one: Johnson and Malkin have a lot more news on their sites than Cox has on hers.
Maybe it’s a dick-joke vs. muff-joke thing. Get some more penis humor (or, preferably, “humor”) onto your site and try again.
If I were conspiracy minded, I’d say Google was just another arm of the Mainstream Media feting Wonkette as the “face” of female blogging in an effort to dismiss it.
I’m stunned. I had no idea there was such a demand for breaking anal sex news.
Since a gimmick is clearly required to make it onto Google News’ radar, perhaps you might consider co-hosting a Biggest Cock in the Blogosphere contest with Allah, and maybe change your site name to Jeff’s News & Stuff. You know, a little KISS to all those high-powered decision-makers over at Google.
Anal sex is ALWAYS FUN!
Oh, so that’s why I was always cracking up whenever Oz was on.
Wonkette only got in through the back door.
If you know what I mean.
Wow. Malkin and LGF must be pretty well chuffed to be in your company. They are going to try a little harder if they want to compete on humor, though. Way too frikin’ serious for my blood. And no potty mouth. Eh. Well, we can’t all be CITIZEN JOURNALISTS. They’ll have to demand cobbler instead.
“I had no idea there was such a demand for breaking anal sex news.”
If something breaks, you’re doing it wrong.
But it’s probably newsworthy.
Ow.
OT, but I love it! I love it! (paraphrased a bit)
Superbowl intro to the singing of the National Anthem, “dedicated to US forces deployed around the world in Afghanistan, Iraq and Europe, and those providing humanitarian assistance to tsunami victims in A.E. Asia!”
Wonkette only got in through the back door.
If you know what I mean.
Ladies and gentlemen, the comment of the day.
Martha demands TART
Moore demands FRIED PIES.
Wonkette demands ASTROGLIDE.
Jaysus, Sean, I almost sprayed my monitor with Guinness…
JeffB, I think Sean’s post deserves to be promoted to COTD.
It’s an honor just to be nominated!
Wonkette use to be a man, yall knew that, right?
RWS
Then she should demand a refund.
I don’t know if I like the direction this thread is taking …
turing word “straight” – I kid you not.
Excellent timing Sean. Excellent.
Gee whiz, Jeff. I thought it was obvious: everybody in DC is ass-fucking everybody not in DC…
It’s not just D.C. anal sex news, it’s D.C. anal sex news from a srawberry blonde with nice tits. Google has their standards you know.
Wonkette demands ASTROGLIDE.
When I was a boy, all we had was K-Y Jelly….and we liked it!
Toast or PB&J?
When I was a boy, all we had was Vaseline. God, I feel like such a Neanderthal.
Hell, that’s nuthin’. All I had growing up was spit. Otherwise known as “prison lube”.
there once was a couple named Kelly
who walked around belly to belly
because once in haste
they used library paste
instead of petroleum jelly
Spambuster:METHODS
Mmmmmmm……prison lube.
Grandpaw told me that during the Depression, you were lucky to even have spit. A-and there were hardly any reliable news sources that could tell you who was assfucking whom in DC.
It snot what my Granpaw told me.
You had spit? You lucky bastard … when I was growing up, we were lucky to find a tub of Go-Jo (with pumice!) out in the garage. Barring that, we had to make do with Vick’s VapoRub.
No one thought to use Crisco, huh?
Damn it all, but this comment section has become gob-smackingly vile. I’m going to bed or on holiday for the next few months. I’ll let you know how the beagle feels about all this tomorrow–unless he gets shot down by the Red Baron or something.
Be sure to hit the tipjar on the way out! Those bandwith costs will kill you!
“Malkin the Johnson” sure sounds funny to me.
So Does “Malkin the Cox”.
Mebbe I should get out more.
“Astroglide” is a space-age lubricant used to keep dogs from sticking together.
(Turing word is “income”. What the fuck?)
I READ WONKETTE EVERY DAY. DONT MAKE FUN OF HER U GUYS R JUST JALOUS!!!!
SHES IN HER THIRTIES AND ALL HER JOKES R ABOUT ASSFUCKING AND THAT IS IN NO WAY DEPRESSING OR PATHETIC!!! SO SHUT UP U FACE!!
Then again, if you ever have to give your cat an enema, duct-tape her to the ironing board.
It’s a good thing!
Wonkette is a paid pseudoblogger who works for gawker media. They also put out gizmodo and the porn blog fleshbot.com so I’m not surprised in the anal angle.
Couldn’t afford it. We were that po’.
turing word – play, as in “assplay”.
Down in South Alabama all we had was lard.
Wonkette is a paid pseudoblogger who works for gawker media. They also put out gizmodo and the porn blog fleshbot.com so I’m not surprised in the anal angle.
Wouldn’t it be great if it turned out that the whole “ass-fucking” thing was merely the result of a writ handed down from on high by Nick Denton? And that Ana Marie Cox whiles away her sleepless nights tormented by the enforced vulgarization of her sensitive, delicate political soul?
I bet she’s never even TRIED ass-fucking.
Turing word: Elements. Think about it.
Not only are you guys “JALOUS” but obviously at one time very lonely.
Now stop being so gross or I’m gonna tell your mom.
RWS – We consider YOU our mom. Please don’t spank our pee-pees.
Not that this will cause sour grapes or anything, but My Pet Jawa IS a Google News source.
Go figure.
Sparky is a good, Christian woman but even she a naughty side (most people do). PW is her outlet to get her naughty-on. This thread, however, seems to be a bit much for her.
turing word: faith
JW wants Sparky to spank his pee-pee? That’s just wrong.
Moooommm, Webb said pee-pee. Are you gonna spank him ? Can we watch ? Can we ? Huh ? Huh ?
All these great one-liners, and not a rim-shot in the house?
No spanking for JWebb, but yall can watch me SMACK him in the nose for saying he considers me yall’s MOM!!! GAH!!!!
Daniel, excuse me? I have never gotten “my naughty on” here. But you can see me get it on here. Click the red button.
“Spank the pee-pee”?
Isn’t that from Spinal Tap—The Early Years?
Ever wonder why Hellman’s packets are such hot sellers in prison vending machines?
Not Spinal Tapp. It’s an early rejected version of a Clash tune.
Shareef don’t like it!
Spank the pee-pee, spank the pee-pee.
If you guys consider RWS your mother, it’s truly the most perfect case of Oedipus complex I have ever seen.
Come on Jeff, after all Wonkettes last name is Cox.
How ‘hard’ is that to understand? You do know that google loves hard don’t cha?
Y’all are going to make RWS freak out if you start calling her mom.
I thought giving one’s cat an enema was called a douche?
So not ONE PERSON even CLICKED on my getting my naughty on????
Guess yall know me too well….
We still like you, Sparkle.
are not sites like indymedia and alternet included as news sites on google?
Joe, oh good, then I can say it…
made ya look!