If you can believe the statistics, in the time it takes you to read this post, Randy Thomasson, president of Campaign for Children and Families, will have thought about getting his freak on at least twice. Not surprisingly, each instance features a rubber brassiere, a slightly drunk Shania Twain, and a Campaign for Children and Families bake sale.
January 2005
January 13, 2005
“So you gotta ask yourself: ‘Do I feel lucky’? Well do ya’? (You big floppy elephant-tittied) PUNK?”
From iafrica.com ‘Dirty Harry’ star Clint Eastwood told an awards ceremony in New York that he would “kill” Fahrenheit 9/11 filmmaker Michael Moore if he ever showed up at his front door with a camera, according to a report on Ananova.com. With Moore sitting in the audience, Eastwood said, “Michael Moore and I actually have a lot in common – we both appreciate living in a country where there’s free
January 13, 2005
Slouching toward dementia, 4 (or, my scissors talk to me again)
Of course it’s a good idea to cut your own hair. What, you really think those hacks at Great Clips care about how you look? Now relax and let me work my magic. You wanted to look like Ashton Kutcher, right…?
January 13, 2005
Another Disgusting Spectacle
I mean, look at this filthy mockery of Pro-Family values: junk-hugging tights, suggestive codpiece, improper use of patriotic accoutrements, quasi-Islamofascistic man burka… What we need now is some OUTRAGE.* **** update: and you simply don’t get that kind of pectoral definition with free weights. No. I suspect something unnatural is going on here. And what kind of message does that send to the children? **** update 2: Bill INDC wrestles
January 12, 2005
a moment of existential rupture
Today I am Gulliver longing to live among the Houyhnhnms. Tell me, is that so wrong…?
January 12, 2005
If instead of running for DNC Chair Howard Dean were to run for president of the Shriners
Dean: “You want bigger cars and hats? Because I can get you bigger cars and hats…”
January 12, 2005
A message to Randy Thomasson, president of Campaign for Children and Families
As a Bush-supporting CITIZEN JOURNALIST looking to earn his PRO-FAMILY BONA FIDES, I hereby SWEAR, to the ALMIGHTY HE WHO ABHORS NAUGHTY LANGUAGE AND OTHER SINS OF EXPRESSION, to practice strict family values on this blog—and TO TEMPER MY POTTY MOUTH until such a time when SOME FILTHY LEFTIST REALLY REALLY, Y’KNOW, HAS IT COMING – AND YOU’D LIKE ME TO LET LOOSE ON THAT PARTICULAR ANTI-FAMILY COMMIE FUCK LIKE
January 12, 2005
protein wisdom the endorsement: “Hillary in’08!”
From WorldNetDaily: “No Kid Rock at Bush concert: Committee backs off plan to feature rapper after pro-family Americans express outrage.” Reached for comment, anti-family Americans expressed disappointment, but noted that they can always “fall back on child porn and the ritual sacrifice of Christians” to “get our shriveled and Godless anti-family rocks off.” **** (h/t Doug Ferguson) **** update: More from Malkin
January 12, 2005
A message from the Thornburgh-Boccardi Report to itself:
“Tell your facts to shut up.”*