Had a chance to talk briefly with tonight’s keynote speaker, Democratic Senator Zell Miller, whom I caught up with at the beverage table after one of his sound checks. protein wisdom: “As a lifelong Democrat, what made you decide to endorse George Bush for president?” Zell Miller: “That’s a good question, because I have voted for every Democratic presidential candidate since 1952, 13 of them. I’ve never voted for a
September 2004
September 1, 2004
The protein wisdom interview: Dan Rather’s Ego
**protein wisdom EXCLUSIVE. MUST CREDIT protein wisdom** protein wisdom: “To jump right in: this forged document story has really taken on a life of it’s own. Question: will all this negative press damage the credibility of CBS News, and do you fear some in the public will come to believe CBS essentially manufactured an anti-Bush story?” Rather’s ego: “I don’t believe either of those things for a second, no. I
September 1, 2004
Another question for my Levi’s
me: “Tell me something, pants. Can I still ‘shake it like a Polaroid picture’?” Levi’s: me: “Hello…?” Levi’s: “Dude, what in the fuck are you talking about…?”
September 1, 2004
Atkins hesitation 9
A note to the makers of Blue Bunny Carb Freedom Mint Chip Frozen Dairy Dessert: cautioning that “excessive consumption may have a laxative effect” is not the same as the more precise, “warning: it’s quite possible you could shit out a lung after eating this stuff. Maybe even several teeth, if you push too hard.” No complaints about the taste, though.
September 1, 2004
Religion of Peace, cont. x one gazillion
Anybody else eagerly awaiting Michael Moore’s column praising these brave Chechen “Minutemen”…? update: Ted Rall emails, “I’m drawing a strip showing Pat Tillman’s ghost squicking a decapitated Maori bushman. Am I edgy or what…?” update 2: Logic and Sanity has much more (thanks, Dario and LGF).
September 1, 2004
No, seriously. There’s a great Joseph Heller short story on page 73.
Okay. Now I really read it for the articles. (h/t Wizbang)
September 1, 2004
protein wisdom’s Republican National Convention coverage, 12
Those of you who think Republicans have no sense of humor should’ve seen Newt Gingrich last night. Because I’m here to tell you, if anybody does a better impression of Jeff Foxworthy purchasing gefilte fish, I sure haven’t seen it. “…So what you’re sayin’ is, that thar jelly surroundin’ the fish ball…that’s intentional?” Christ, I’m still laughing.
September 1, 2004
But what the cops don’t know is that Dallas Winston’s gun ain’t even loaded…
For those of you who missed the last couple weeks because in the course of rescuing a bunch a schoolchildren from a burning church in the Oklahoma boonies you were felled by a heavy wooden beam and subsequently hospitalized: here, catch up. Stay gold, Ponyboy.
September 1, 2004
protein wisdom’s Republican National Convention coverage, 11
New Yorker Hotel “Compassionate Conservatism” after party, dwarf tossing results (semi-final round): Arnold Schwarzenegger, 26’7”; protein wisdom, 22’11”; Jenna Bush, 20’1”, Monica Crowley, 16’8”; Sean Hannity, 16’4”; Susan Estrich, 8’2”; Alan Colmes [disqualified for hugging the dwarf and trying to get him to refer to himself as “a little person”]; Barbara Bush [no show—reportedly doing upside down margaritas with a couple of delegates from New Mexico]
September 1, 2004
red pills found behind the sofa cushions (and smuggled into New York inside a Dr. Scholl’s Air Pillow insole)
Anybody else see that dolphin in the navy blue pea coat slip a wad of rolled-up bills and a bag of ‘shrooms into Education Secretary Rod Paige’s jacket pocket? Because I did. Note to Secret Service: should the dolphin start going on about sea monkeys, take him down right away. Trust me.