A note to the makers of Blue Bunny Carb Freedom Mint Chip Frozen Dairy Dessert: cautioning that “excessive consumption may have a laxative effect” is not the same as the more precise, “warning: it’s quite possible you could shit out a lung after eating this stuff. Maybe even several teeth, if you push too hard.”
No complaints about the taste, though.
They can’t use the “more precise” warning because most people would not understand it to mean “possibly both lungs.”
If you get the dose right you can be unbelievably flatulent – combined with a high meat diet it’s deadly.
I knew your website contained olestra. Liar.
OhmiGod. I like to think i’m above it, but a good explosie diarrhea joke stil gets me every time. Thanks.
I don’t experience a “laxative effect,” but anything sweetened with lacitol gives me more gas than…well Michael Moore after eating an elk, probably.
At the store tonight my wife went unescorted to pick up some ice cream. It waqs the first time I had actually seen Blue Bunny brand anything.
I had to check very closely to make sure what she got wasn’t the “Carb Freedom” terror weapon. I must confess I didn’t warn the other customers though.
Someone would have questioned the timing.
Don’t forget one of the greatest product slogans that was rejected: “Olestra–you’re sitting in it.”