11:22 AM: For the second time in as many mornings I wake up on the floor of Ann Coulter’s hotel room, the phrase “Jooos for Bush” scrawled across my forehead in Clinique Berry Berry Long Last lipstick. Ann has already taken off for some Phyllis Schlafly presentation, but she leaves me the crumbled dregs of her Continental breakfast, which I pass up for a bite-size Milky Way bar and a
September 2, 2004
September 2, 2004
Like wet dreams to teenage cannibals
Well, you knew it was coming, but you never thought it’d be so incredibly moist. Oliver Willis, unhinged. Tune in and watch the Donk spittle fly! And remember: keep your hands and feet inside the protective cage at all times. Nevermind. Par for the course, this stuff. Only marginally related: For those of you who were busy tailing Frog 1 into the bowels of the New York subway system last
September 2, 2004
I got your ‘Hardball’ right here, Slick
A partial transcript of Chris Matthews’ interview with Zell Miller (following last night’s RNC address): Matthews: Do you believe truthfully that John Kerry wants to defeat the world with spitballs? Miller: That was a metaphor. You know what a metaphor is? Matthews: Well, what do you mean by that metaphor? Miller: He wanted to cancel these weapons programs. Cancel, means to do away with. I think we ought to cancel
September 2, 2004
protein wisdom’s World Famous Impersonations # 1: An RNC Protester, Friday, September 3
“Welcome to Burger King, sir. May I please take your order?”
September 2, 2004
Seventeenth in a series of real-time empirical observations
In a fit of daring—and in desperate need of a campaign momentum swing—John Edwards runs a dollop of mousse through his boyish locks and tries parting his hair on the left, a gesture he finds symbolically very pleasing. Unfortunately, the results are aesthetically less than perfect, so with some disappointment he returns to his right side part and instead asks God to make Joe Lockhart strong—and to maybe make the