First this, from the front page of John Kerry’s campaign website, September 8, 2004: George Bush has made the wrong choices for four years – including choosing to go it alone in Iraq without a plan to win the peace. This choice has cost us $200 billion and moved America in the wrong direction. John Kerry and John Edwards will move America in a new direction with a better plan
September 2004
September 8, 2004
Kerry: “I voted FOR extra war funding…before I began bashing the funding I used to be in favor of increasing”
September 8, 2004
The ‘John Edwards is upset with the Vice President’ haiku
“I think the name Dick says all that needs saying, don’t you, swing voters…?”*
September 8, 2004
My eighth brief conversation with a McIntosh apple
apple: “So, how was New York…?” me: “Fine.” apple: ”Fine, eh? You get a chance to talk to my friend Big Apple?” me: “Briefly, yes.” apple: “He’s one enormous fucking apple, isn’t he?” me: “Yeah, I suppose.” apple: “Huge. Powerful. Sinister, even…” me: apple: “Not to be trifled with, wouldn’t you say…” me: apple: “No sir. Not my friend the Big Apple. Wouldn’t want to piss him off –” me:
September 8, 2004
Eighteenth in a series of real-time empirical observations
As you read this, 60s folkrocker David Crosby is leading a crowd of 33 UC Irvine students in a modest protest of Bush’s Iraq policy, having gathering the group into a cozy roadside “love circle,” where he regales them with stories of Judy Collins’ “well-traveled cootch” while bumming hits off some Asian chick’s “really killer weed. “No, seriously, man—this is some great shit.”
September 7, 2004
The pot calling the kettle fat and drunk on squeeze butter
In a post titled “Someone’s Gettin’ Huffy,” paid Donk shitflinger Oliver Willis puts down his mayonnaise spoon long enough to point a greasy finger at Glenn Reynolds: Check out the indignation in this [Reynold’s] post after Jeff Jarvis (rightly) called him out for amplifying right-wing trash like Scaife’s Pittsburgh paper. As one of Jeff’s commenters says of Reynolds: “He’s nothing but a whore for Bush who continues to lie about
September 7, 2004
My third brief conversation with Senator Robert Byrd’s (D-WV) Grand Kleagle hood
me: “You know racism when you see it, right? Did you hear anything particularly racist in Zell Miller’s convention speech…?” hood: me: “Besides the obvious racism inherent in a southern drawl, I mean…?” hood: me: “…Because I sure as hell didn’t.” hood: me: “…Didn’t find the speech all that frightening, either.” hood: me: “But then, I’ve never been one to fear a 70-something-year-old man—especially one armed with nothing but an
September 7, 2004
9 French government excuses for forging Niger yellow-cake documents
The US hyperpower needed to be taught a lesson, and France—well, France brings the lesson hammer! Those were simply practice forgeries. Our real forgeries totally incriminate the Jews That Italian boy “Giacomo” looked so cute in his leather pants that we just had to use him for something We thought we were forging a dessert recipe. Honest. You dare remake À bout de souffle with Richard-frickin’-Gere? Two words: Louisiana Purchase
September 7, 2004
Know your enemies
Andrew McCarthy, The Corner: The NYT doesn’t want to. If you labored through its page one analysis yesterday of the siege in Russia in which nearly 340 people were slaughtered, you’d have to have gone deep into the newspaper and waded down to the 24th paragraph of the story to learn that: “While the extent of international support may be debated, the attacks bear some trappings of Islamic militancy. Officials
September 6, 2004
From Russia with Love…
…Or, y’know… not. **** Thematically related update: From Harvard with Love… …Or, y’know… not. **** the “if this is true, France should be cut loose from all US-involved alliances and set adrift to deal with its own problems, which begin with its citizens’ unorthodox bathing practices and end with its government’s complete loss of face after being caught trying to fuck its liberators right in the derriere” update: from the