Great news for willful tots, presumptuous nannystaters, and the majority of Teddy Kennedy’s Hooter’s waitresses; bad news for parents, families, and Teresa Heinz-Kerry. — Who, I guess, will just have to go back to cutting off Johnny Swiftboat’s allowance when he gets all Brahmany. Which is something of a shame, given that rubber diamond-studded novelty whips don’t just grown on trees, you know… (h/t STACLU)

Well, a visit to the Denver Zoo is always nice. Just don’t let your being dead convince you that you can enjoy a leisurely stroll through the tiger cages unharassed. Unless, that is, one of the things you wish to do in Denver while you’re dead is have your lower torso pulled apart by an 800 lb. cat — something a dead acquaintance of mine found out recently when a

An 18-year-old community college student has been missing since Friday, and authorities said they suspect foul play in her disappearance.Emily Sander was last seen at the Retreat, a bar east of El Dorado, leaving with Israel Mireles, 24, police said. Her car was found the following day at the bar.El Dorado Police Chief Tom Boren said Mireles is the last person known to be seen with Sander.On Saturday, authorities searched

Drag Queens Throw Down with Tire Iron, ‘Wet Floor’ Sign Inside McDonald’s Mmmmmmmmmmmojado!

 I think that I shall never see A god as wonderful as Me.  A god whose librul mouth is prest Against the state’s sweet flowing breast; A god to gaze on Me all day, And lift its num’nous arms to pray; A goddess that in Frisco wears Garlanded flowers in her hair; Upon whose mirror bosom shows A Caric visage, Caric nose. Such gods are made by fools who lie; The only God who’s real am I.

Don’t know who’s on your list, but consider giving the gift of Patterico’s groundbreaking examination of the potentials and hazards of the Internet Age: Cover art by serr8d.

Your Dogma Eliminated My Smegma

Almost like Decision Science?   A former Ivy League professor pleaded guilty Monday to voluntary manslaughter for killing his wife as she wrapped Christmas presents last year. Rafael Robb, once a tenured economics professor at the University of Pennsylvania, faces a prison sentence of no more than seven years for bludgeoning his wife, Ellen, on Dec. 22. Robb, 57, said Monday that he got into an argument with his wife about

Frank Pulley has up a piece over at Bloody Scott lamenting the disappearance from the intarwebs of the archives of Scott Burgess’s Daily Ablution, which was an excellent site for a very long time.  Where Scott’s disappeared to, we’re not absolutely sure.  Perhaps he and Mrs. Ablution finally packed up and moved to Slovakia, wisely deciding that it would be foolish to leave a forwarding address.  At any rate, as

We’re in the process of changing hosts. As the DNS propagates, it’s possible comments will “disappear.” Sorry for any inconvenience. Well, not really. But it’s traditional to pretend to be sorry. And you know how committed we conservatives are to tradition — even if we don’t really buy into the substance. BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY! A note from your friendly tech-support Pixy: If you can see this note, you’re on