 I think that I shall never see
A god as wonderful as Me.ÂÂ
A god whose librul mouth is prest
Against the state’s sweet flowing breast;
A god to gaze on Me all day,
And lift its num’nous arms to pray;
A goddess that in Frisco wears
Garlanded flowers in her hair;
Upon whose mirror bosom shows
A Caric visage, Caric nose.
Such gods are made by fools who lie;
The only God who’s real am I.
I believe that Caric should count his blessings that it was not the pre-Christian Roman state religions that came to be dominant in the West.
Insulting Jesus, relatively safe. Insulting Mars, god of War – not so much.
Actually it was the God Augustus and his successors who tended to be the touchiest.
But well done, Dan. Liked the last line particularly.
How can anyone write an Ode to Caric without a stanza referencing him whacking off while calling someone a racist?
That piece is from last year. Is Dan coming down to the culture war battlefield to shoot the wounded?
No. I’m waiting for his brilliant reprise, TSI.
Wounded? Caric? Who’s Ric Caric?
Maybe Caric and his 2 comments can drop by to enlighten us. Oh, we could only be so privileged.
I wonder, since many MSM outlets, like “Newsweek†enjoy ridiculing Christmas each year, how many Jew-mocking articles do they run during Hannukka? I know they wouldn’t dare run anything that might offend The Moslem during Rammadan. Angry letters is one thing, bombbelts another.
Darleen – You know that the christian religions are the only ones that may be mocked without the greivance mongers going postal.
Ah, the Catholic warrior dons the Cross of Malta and enters the arena to do battle with a foe that was there a year ago….nice work, Dan.
Did you and Caric date a one point?
You wouldn’t by any chance be a Baptist from San Antonio, would you, Hal? There are plenty of fish in the sea. Not all of them are blowfish.
So, Dan, apparently you are only allowed to mock the most recent pieces of idiocy penned by Senor Caricature.
While this may be almost a year old, it certainly is illuminating.
Caric does what many other faux intellectuals do when they chose to bloviate about the nature of God. They insist that God meet their standards. The supreme arrogance and self flatulation that is achieved by such a piece of dreck would cause even the massive ego of Gore Vidal to give pause.
I know! Let’s have a focus group, rich in diversity, closeted in a nice mountain resort with the imperative to design the best god evah! He’ll reflect all of humankinds’ needs for multiculturalism, tolerance and benevalent socialism. He’ll just be the perfect god made in the progressive image and everyone will be content with him!
Buncha tools…
If Prof. Caricature had ever shown evidence of evolving like higher life forms do, a year-old piece might not seem apt.
But it being La Caricaturacha…
Actually, he appears to be devolving. Given the lack of traffic, he seems to have chosen the “ratchet up the crazy” route.
I agree with C*ric that it’s simply awful, and quite astonishing, that people enjoy being with their families on Christmas.
We certainly wouldn’t want any secular traditions added to the observance of the religious mythology. BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY!!!111!!
Contemporary militant atheists lost all nuance years ago. Maybe it was the impatience of mortality, or the frustration of failure to silence everyone who disagreed.
By the way, Dan, I especially like the first couplet since it involves a threesome, if you count both breasts.
Although, come to think of it, statist teats are unwholesome in the cursory, initial appraisal…
Sorry. I mean the second couplet.
I think I got lost in the idea of socialist tits. Rather ghastly.
if you count both breasts
Dogs, cats, pigs and cows notwithstanding, I guess.
A god whose librul mouth is prest
Against the dog’s sweet flowing breast;
A god whose librul mouth is prest
Against the cat’s sweet flowing breast;
A god whose librul mouth is prest
Against the pig’s sweet flowing breast;
A god whose librul mouth is prest
Against the cow’s sweet flowing breast;
Hey! Haven’t we been herebefore?
Hey, did somebody say something about tits here?
Oh, they were metaphorical?
Damn. I guess I’ll have to go back to the rest of teh internets.
Geezer:
It’s always about the breasts with you, isn’t it?
Yes, but as Sean so graciously pointed out, only metaphorically.
And never collectivist breasts.
Hmmm. I don’t know why but the phrase “collectivist breasts” makes all tingly.
I can’t remember whether this is the third or fourth ode that Collins has written to me, but I’m beginning to think he’s even more inspired by me than he is by Glenn Greenwald.
Whatever, I can’t find the link to my Santa v Jesus op-ed anymore. But here’s the url to the longer version that appeared on my blog–http://red-state.blogspot.com/2006/11/why-i-like-santa-better.html
Oh yeah! Really mature comments above.
Oh, yeah, like your comments are so much more mature, “Mr. Maturity Guy!” But thanks for providing the link.
Hmmmm…from Caric’s (who?) post, on Thanksgiving…”In fact, I spent years fighting with my ten year old about her desire to buy a pumpkin in early September …
So, Caric, for how many years has your ten-year-old been ten years old?
Let’s hope she matures faster than you. Or at least realizes, after she matures, that attacking other people’s religions isn’t really in good form. Or very mature.
Yeah, Caric, stop saying things on other websites that one of might stumble across and be offended by. You bastard. You’d never catch a Protein Wisdom dude or lady attacking someone’s religion….I mean, unless they were Muslim. But, that’s fair, ’cause we’re afraid of them and they aren’t on the internet. At least not our internet.
To recap: shut up and let us make of the Muslims and their religion.
Is it better to have comments that are “really mature”, or nobody reading your blog to comment at all ?
Correction: “To recap: shut up and let us make FUN of the Muslims and their religion.”
Hate for Cric to attack me for making such a mistake
timmah aka Henny Pecker – Fuck you.
Jd, you dolt, Hepennypacker is the alias Kramer chose on Seinfeld. you keep accusing me of being something more when all I do is love the Sein….
and making fun of Muslims
and making fun of you
especially the part about making fun of you, since you’re dirt stupid
A timmah visit! I guess I’ve finally arrived…at least he for me he did leave his real name.
If all timb can do is wander around dripping carminative posts, he really does need some doctor love…
Oh no!! What a mistake. I left the right-wingers a word–“mature”–that they can obsess over. What a pain that’s going to be. Dan Collins will probably search out every example of immature behavior on my part for the last thirty years.
I hope he doesn’t look up my old girlfriends.
But there might be an upside as well. Perhaps the Protein Wisdom gang will finally stop obsessing about weenie-boys, the fluff right, and color-blind racism. That will give Goldstein and Collins a chance to focus on their side bigotries instead.
Caric – Go back to your hollow sad existence. Apparently, you are sad because timb is not dropping by to fellate you on every comment thread, and todd mayo has run out of words to plagarize. PSSST. Todd – Call Joe Biden. He can help you. All Caric has left is weenie boys, his fluffers Todd and timb, racism, and his new one, side bigotries. Such a sad miserable existence. First your hoops team loses to who? Gardner Webb? In what once was a shrine to college basketball, Rupp Arena. Sadly, no more. Then, the football team cannot score from the 1 inch line, and drops a pass in the zone on the last play. Oops. Wrong school. Nevertheless, go back to shrieking at the walls, calling black people racists, and corrupting young minds.
mmmmm, side bigotries. I like mine with brown gravy.
JD, how high were you when you rambled through that paragraph?
I don’t think a real schizophrenic is capable of combining all of those “observations” into one paragraph of sheer crazy.
My hat’s off to you, sir…the weirdness of that paragraph will make me laugh all day. Just loony! Awesome.
Zero plus zero is still zero, kids. Didn’t they teach you that, Perfessor?
PW Guys–
Why are you wasting time with Caric? Take it from someone who knows him personally. He’s a self-parodying douchebag.
http://anticaric.blogspot.com
Cleo, how do you know Caric? A little background might help.
I imagine you saw my Seuss parody? It was cartoony, but turned out to be all-too accurate, I’m afraid.
Dan–
I would love to answer that question, but to do so would compromise my anonymity.
No, I didn’t catch your Seuss parody.
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