‘Microwave on high for 4 minutes’?  Why, even I can do that, he thought. And so it happened that for the first time since she left him, the wheels of her suitcase tracing a trail of broken black scuffs to the lip of the foyer, he enjoyed a nice hot lunch—in this case, low-carb roasted turkey breast with mushroom gravy and a good-sized serving of cut green beans.

Q: How many Pope Benedict XVIs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Yeah, right.  God didn’t invent Bishops for nothing, you know.

Takes the name Benedict XVI; immediately blesses Norm’s barstool. Huh?

Which, for the benefit of you non-Catholics, means six more weeks of winter.* update:  “Papalphobe!”

Garrett:  “Dude.  Here.  Take a hit off this.” update: “Like sucking a nice, long nap into your lungs, ain’t it…?”

Wanted:  I’m looking two dependable “assistants”¹ to help out on the award-winning² The CITIZEN JOURNALIST Report radio show.³ Time commitment is roughly 30-70 minutes per week.  Responsibilities will include: Position 1:  Talent Coordinator email / IM / phone potential guests, collect contact information (“now, may I have your home phone number, Ms. Coulter / Mr. Gingrich?”), and finalize appearance arrangements write a brief 100 word or less show description for

“…So then I said to them that unless all of the so-called white professors at the university are willing to demonstrate the pureness of their racial lineages, there’s no way I should be forced to verify mine. In fact, the whole process is racist on its face, I told them—the white hegemon’s bold attack on those who profess a racial identity outside the establishment fold.”* “Not bad, not bad.  Of

Stuffed on Jiffy Pop and sleeping like a spent john here inside my sweatpants.  But only because he was chilly.  No, really.

Jeff:  “Great idea, Jeff.  I say let’s do it.” *thanks so much to David D for the Seagull’s Laughter DVD.