Takes the name Benedict XVI; immediately blesses Norm’s barstool.
Huh?
Getting to know your new Pope, Benedict XVI: (formerly Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger)
Age: 78
Nationality: German
Ideological bent: Traditionalist
Turn ons: Long walks along the Rhein; bratwurst; I Thessalonians 4:13-18; JESUS
Turn offs: Homosexual marriage, radical feminism, relativism, THE BEAST*
Favorite color: passion red
Favorite book(s): Die Bibel (Catholic Bible instute of Stuttgart); Roger’s Version (John Updike)
Favorite film(s): Foul Play (1978); The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972)
Guilty pleasures: The Exorcist (1973); cherry Pez; Showtime After Dark
Nickname: “Papa Razi” (Italian); “König Rat” (German)
Goals: World Peace, salvation, German World Cup Soccer Championship
Fears: The whole Jesus mythos turns out to be untrue; spiders
Why Benedict XVI? Optimism in troubled times (see: Benedict XV and WWI); “just sounds cool.”
Hey!
The first miracle, my $5 bet made me $20.
Plus I got the over/under on the number of ballots it would take.
Go Bennie!
You da Pope!!
“We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as for certain and which has as its highest goal one’s own ego and one’s own desires,” —Cardinal Ratzinger
I personally prefer the term ‘freedom’;
but ‘dictatorship of relativism’ works too, I guess.
Ratzinger is the intellectual heavyweight at the Vatican. They couldn’t have chosen a more rigorous thinker. He is going to be a lightning rod, but everything he says will be exquisitely reasoned. (Whether I’m going to like him or not is another question, but his encyclicals should be a logician/rhetorician’s wet dream.)
BLT,
I think his sentiments were meant to be a moral version of “Without law and order, man has no freedom.”
You can quibble with the applicability of that idea in the moral sphere, but, you know, it’d be prudent to at least acknowledge the relevant argument.
I assumed BLT knows that, Russell.
It is easy to intentionally misstate the positions of the Catholic Church. Not any easier or less honest than saying libertarians are a bunch of dope smoking anarchists, really, but I find Catholics are a lot less touchy about these things than are libertarians.
Maybe I’m just a fundie, but the new Pope’s quote is almost enough to make me go Catholic.
They just gotta work on the whole pedophile priest business. And the celibate priest issue. And the… well, I’ll just stop while I’m ahead.
I agree with this sentiment, moral relatism is a serious problem. It’s not an issue of freedom vs tyranny. It’s an issue of truth vs falsehood. And, as Christians, we seek the Truth.
Good job on the Papal stats there Goldstein.
Why Benedict XVI?: Maybe sixteen’s the charm.
I was gunning for “Pope Ratzo da One.”
Who eggs Benedict on? The Holland dazed.
Thanks for the laugh on a day when all I want to do is cry.
JWebb – you da funny! Yay pope!
To the tune of “You’re Sixteen”, Ringo Starr:
You come out in a stream, white smoky dream,
Lips on sacrament wine.
You’re XVI, so Papal, and divine.
Hmmm. Seems to be a storm brewing here, the sky is getting really dark…
Why can’t he start a new tradition and go with Pope Skippy the first?
Yeah, JWebb. Or maybe Pope Jifâ„¢ the Crunchy.
Nah, I think Jeff had the right idea: Clavin I.
Winner!
Pope Cliffy
Pope Ronpeil I.
Pope Robert Blake’s Even Creepier Older Brother III
Pope Cardinal Bishop the Redundant
I put ‘Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger’ into one of those pimp name generators and got this on the first try:
Treacherous Joseph Cardinal Ice.
It does have a nice ring to it. Plus he’s already got the cape, the cane, and the flamboyant hat. You got my money bitch?
Goldstein,
Don’t know if it was just a guess, but nice pull from the side of the Bible you’re not used to.
Actually rather touching
I Thessalonians
004:013 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning
them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others
which have no hope.
004:014 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them
also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
004:015 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we
which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall
not prevent them which are asleep.
004:016 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout,
with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God:
and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
004:017 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together
with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so
shall we ever be with the Lord.
004:018 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.
004:019 Because what I just talked about sure as shit ain’t happenin’.
I know my shit, Hobby.
Popping Cherry Pez while reading Updike? Who knew?
What’s all this business about a new pope? Did the other one die or something?
Pope Ratzo:
“Hey! I’m walkin’ here!”
Gail, well…that is a very “Jeff” way of putting it…
As a good Catholic (trying anyway), I am very excited about this guy. Why am I Catholic? I thought you would never ask.
I’m a Catholic too RWS and I’ve read some of Ratzinger’s books. He is brilliant. He’s also the main brain behind the massive new catechism. I do disagree with him on homosexuality, contraception, and probably a few other things I can’t think of right now, but the nice thing about the new catechism is that it leaves a lot of leeway for differences in matters of individual conscience. My only serious concern is how he is likely to handle the personnel problems and the money problems the church is going to face.
Nice, Mojo.
“his encyclicals should be a logician/ rhetorician’s wet dream.”
Gail, was that from a Vatican press release?
Well, they have to dream about something.