Which, for the benefit of you non-Catholics, means six more weeks of winter.*
update: “Papalphobe!”
BREAKING: “Black smoke billowed from the chimney leading from the Sistine Chapel where the cardinals are holding their secret election meeting”
Search
Archive Calendar
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | ||||||
| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 |
| 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
| 30 | 31 | |||||
Archives
Categories
- A Government That Can Force You to Buy Health Insurance Can Make You Do Anything (3)
- a protein wisdom philosophy primer (3)
- academics (25)
- armadillo (8)
- Friday Fiction 100 Word Challenge (51)
- from the protein wisdom conceptual series (136)
- identity politics (33)
- If Republicans Win the Senate in 2014 (1)
- in which celebraties comment on current events (67)
- language / intentionalism (88)
- legal (6)
- My brief conversations with inanimate objects (130)
- NSA / FISA (46)
- One Term to Serve, the 2012 Revival (6)
- Overheard in a Fallujah bunker (27)
- Poems from 196x, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brauti (27)
- protein wisdom's DNC coverage (30)
- protein wisdom's RNC coverage (29)
- protein wisdom: the movie Lists (20)
- Provocateurism (16)
- real-time empirical observations (51)
- red pills found behind the sofa cushions (42)
- Scenes from my driveway (61)
- Talking back to 80s music (41)
- The Martha Stewart Chronicles (58)
- The protein wisdom interviews (10)
- The protein wisdom original poems (142)
- Uncategorized (20,046)
- Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, abridged (34)
Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
Or that Cardinal Francis is grilling his famous Blackened Loaves and Fishes again.
HERETIC
Uh-oh. “HundredPercenter” will be here in 5…4…3…2…1….
Is that Dick Cheney?
THERETIC
oh, here is the secret only good Catholics like myself know….God ACTUALLY shows up. That’s right. And until he does and tells them who to pick, the play cards and throw out the smoke to keep people from worrying too much.
Keep this on the downlow..mmkay?
Paypalphobe? Gilty.
Actually, what the conclave does is secretly fly in the judges from American Idol, and let them pick the cardinal who sings “I’m A Believer” the best.
Overheard at the College of Cardinals Papal Enclave:
“Bingo!”
Spambuster: heard (I swear!)
Good thing Cheney is careful. He miter got bitten.
I was told that black smoke means one of the Cardinals was voted off the island. I didn’t hear who got immunity for the next round, though.
Sure sure, put off a new pope ‘til tomorrow.
Nice p-shop.
And why am I reminded suddenly of Malacalypse the Elder?
SarahW, *groan*! That’s got to be worth at least six “hail Marys”.
Ratzinger is cuter than I thought. Must be a gauzy camera lens; most of the time he looks like Max Schreck with Ted Knight’s hair.
Now, if nothing happens tomorrow, it means they had furnace trouble and all the Cards suffocated.
Somehow Pope Punxatawney Phil just doesn’t inspire the necessary reverence.
I heard that white smoke has been sighted wafting from Tommy Chong.
Oh, and I thought your update said Papalprobe. And that just seemed wrong.
Everytime I see “Cardinal Ratzinger” I read it as Cardinal Ratzenberger.
…EVERYWHEREATICTIC
jamrat wins!!!!! I didn’t think it was going to happen…
Utterly unconscionable defamation of innocent overly-large furry rodents everywhere. Shame.
Does this mean Bill Murray gets to be Pope? (Over and over again?)
I, for one, welcome our new rodent master.
Black smoke means the fed funds rate goes up by half a percent, the redcoats will cross to Charlestown by boat, and at least 10 of the jurors say Jacko is guilty.
Oh, and forget about Ratzinger: word on the street is that he blew the swimsuit competition big-time. Don’t look for anything more than Cardinal Congeniality.
I heard some Latino dude slew in the interpretive dance category. But that was before a tragicomic reinterpretative impression of Martin Luther performed by a blackhorse cinderella candidate from India of all places threw everyone’s scorecard in the crapper.
And if I insist on money orders, am I Paypalphobic, too?
Did someone say “hairy tick”?
The early favorite for new Rodent Master…John ‘Biggie’ Rat-zinger…
spambuster: opened – ‘opened a can of worms’
COMING THIS SUMMER!!
POPE RAT
Staring an older George Segal.
Pope John Paul II upgraded the technology by adding bell peals when the smoke is white. So the focus on White Smoke/Black Smoke is a bit odd considering the sound of lots of bells ringing will be the other sign.
John Paul II was progressive – for a Pope. But not as much as Cardnial Law, who – while seeking to distract himself from the pedophilia issues, came with the idea of having the Italian Frecce Tricolori Aerobatic Team overfly St. Peters Square and release either black or white smoke.
If the smoke were white, the speakers would play “Rock You Like a Hurricane” to the adoring crowd.
Sadly, JPII said ‘no’ to this in seventeen languages,
http://www.tayyareci.com/images/TStars51.jpg
Ya gotta promote the guy from Grand Inquisitor Pope, ya just gotta.
Hey.. a question while we wait.. Can the new Pope choose whatever name he wants or are there limits or guidelines? I mean, if he wanted to be known as Pope Pious Torquemada the Inquisitive.. could he do that ? or Pope Pious Borga the Incestuous … Just curious..
Bells and smoke at this hour – new pope!
That Karl Rove …
he works fast.
http://melis.bbaron.sk/scorpions4_16.mid
Biggie Rat wins!!!!
I’m just glad that it was THAT kind of white smoke that they displayed. Otherwise Ratzi would be proclaiming himself Pope Jimi, and the communion wafers would be replaced with lime-flavored Doritos.