Rightalk Radio Toll-free Call-in number: 1-866-884-8255 (866-884-TALK) **** update: Thanks so much to Captain Ed and Kate, who were fantastic guests.  And I apologize to Kate for an earlier episode in which I got drunk and commented on women’s asses during her visit to Colorado. I hope the show didn’t suffer from that tension.  It was Goldschlager, after all…

Billy Joel:  “We got an apartment with deep-pile carpets and a couple of paintings from Sears.  A big waterbed that we bought with the bread we had saved for a couple of year.  We started to fight when the money got tight but we just didn’t count on the tears –” Former supermodel Christie Brinkley: “– Wait, those paintings were from fucking Sears?  God, how I loathe you.”

I’ve changed hosts, and my new URL is https://www.proteinwisdom.com.  The old URL will still forward you here, but why not cut out the middle man? Please let me know of any glitches you’re experiencing.  Those of you using old RSS feeds, try emptying your cache and then reattempting the syndication. A few bugs on my end: the title field for the posts needs to be expanded, so some of the

Every morning I climb out of bed, have coffee and a light breakfast, feed and change my little boy, and then—quite refreshed—I say to the universe, “universe?  Whom shall I piss off today?” This is generally a rhetorical question—though on one occasion, my neighborhood was subjected to a sudden deluge of Bowling for Columbine DVDs.  But that was likely an anomaly.

When:  Thursday, 3 PM EST Where:  Rightalk Radio Guests:  Ed Morrissey, from Captain’s Quarters, Kate McMillan, from small dead animals. Topics:  The state of political discourse; social cons vs. libertarians; current events; the Canadian scandal, about which I know precisely nothing.  Other topics:  nautical terms; moose; lager. Toll-free Call-in number: 1-866-884-8255 (866-884-TALK) Disclaimer:  WE REFUSE TO BE SILENCED! Offer:  If you have any questions you’d like me to ask Ed

Top of the seventh, two on, two out.  On a 1-2 count, I throw Albert Pujols a sharp slider just off the plate outside, which—forced to protect the plate—he swings at and tops harmlessly to short.  Inning over. **** update: after a bloop double by my catcher to start the bottom of the seventh, I’m left in to sacrifice him over to third, which I do so successfully on a

[Enter the Ghost, and Bill O’Reilly following] O’Reilly: I’m not one of those pinheads who believes in ghosts, but go on.  I’ll give you the last word. Ghost: Mark me — O’Reilly:—But no spinning.  Or I’ll have to cut you off.  For the folks.  Go. Ghost: My hour is almost come When I to sulph’rous and tormenting flames Must render up myself — O’Reilly:—Yeah, it’s called a hard break.  By

A stick, some string, a bent paper clip, a few kernels of corn… Not that it’s any better than getting pissed on non-stop by total strangers on the internet, mind you.  Just, well…different. **** update:  Can you smell that?  Why, it’s honeysuckle…!

The increasingly humorless John Hawkins is going to great pains to explain away his own mistakes regarding our last radio show interview with Michele Catalano.  Using words like integrity and honesty, our self-righteous hero is continuing his onslaught from the frantically partisan soapbox of RightWingNews.  And it’s starting to piss me off. So allow me to summarize briefly:  Looking to make Michele appear a crazed bitch, Hawkins pointed his readers

     When the man opened his freezer with vague hopes of finding a stray Dove Bar, he was surprised to find the severed head of Jimmy Carter staring back at him, its peppery eyebrows flecked with frost, eyes wide and empathic, full pink lips glazed and heavy with ice.      “Jesus,” the man said, taking a step back.  “What are you doing in my freezer, Jimmy Carter’s severed head?”      But the ex-President’s