A stick, some string, a bent paper clip, a few kernels of corn… Not that it’s any better than getting pissed on non-stop by total strangers on the internet, mind you. Just, well…different.
****
update: Can you smell that? Why, it’s honeysuckle…!
Hey, some people pay big bucks to get pissed on by total strangers. A few of them might even be comedians.
OH! So now were strangers.
*I get this one*
Can’t catch anything with corn.
Try a stick of dynamite.Very productive.
No fly fishing? Damn man, what kind of outdoorsman are you?
This whole thing is GREAT, the giving just never stops!!
I for one can’t wait for tomorrows show! (And there better be some gongs, or finch-like noises, in it)
Fisking Whimsy:
A recipe for ecological disaster and piscatorial trauma. String breaks, sticks break, Jeff in his escapist quest fails to realize a simple truth: each paper clip left in a stream bed or fishing hole becomes part of the ecosystem. Studies show an oxidizing paperclip releases approximately the same amount of heavy metals as a 1960’s era Buick Skymaster.
Plus, the lack of a barb, the diameter of the paperclip compared to an EagleClaw #6 hook (total cost $0.12), makes for an inefficient way to hook a fish,. The fish, which may be serving as a surrogate for Jeff’s detractors, will merely injure themselves and then swim off.
This casts Jeff’s ‘whimsy’ in a whole new light … a light of darkness.
or something.
Piss is a liquid voided from the bladder. Jeff is either talking about some digital form of piss or speaking metaphorically.
Anymore, I don’t know.
****
A quick check of honeysuckle blooming patterns from the Colorado University’s Extension Agency webcams show that honeysuckle is not in bloom yet.
Clearly that means that Jeff must be wearing some honeysuckle eau de toilette … which is fine.
Just not what’s implied
or something.
Never wrestle with a pig, Jeff.
You both get muddy, but the pig likes it!
Turing word: went – as in, “I went to be funnier than I are.”
Parker, that’s a good one. Reminds me of one of my old favorites: It’s not sporting to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
I’m outraged at the lack of journalistic integrity and honesty this post exemplifies. I for one, am taking it upon myself as a responsible blogger and CITIZEN JOURNALIST to see to it that the name Jeff Goldstein lives on in infamy. He fishes while protein wisdom BURNS!
I would have loaned you a fishing rod if you’d asked.
Your previous post belongs in the greatest hits links over there.
SW: “had”: I had a good time here, and I hope to continue doing so.
I hope you got Satchel a pole and taught him to bait his own hook… Rites of passage and all..
Hmmmm…..bent paper clip = hook, Jeff’s in a transition period in his life……TRANNY HOOKERS! Yes, that’s it, it’s super-secret, double-probation code. But don’t worry, we won’t tell the wife.
I believe if you get caught fishing with corn you’ll end up at an undisclosed Fish and Game facility getting hosed down like Rambo. Buy some nightcrawlers. The flyfishing artistes can look down their noses at your manfully bulging creel.
And don’t forget your straw hat.
Personally, I prefer a honey who’ll suck.
BumperStickerist, that is more of an explication de texte than a fisk.
You are not really Robert Penn Warren or Cleath Brooks are you?
cleanth
“A stick, some string, a bent paper clip, a few kernels of corn…” If you were MacGyver, you could have built a thermonuclear device. But fishing is OK.
P.S. I went 3 for 4 off Byung-Hyun Kim.
[panting as though from a three-mile run, lowers self cautiously into a chair]
Keeping up with the mob in these threads is hard work. I might show up more often if this place really were hemorrhaging readers.
But then, I’m anti-social.
Oh, and the thingie in brackets up there? All lies. If I’d really tried to run for three miles, I would not be panting.
I wouldn’t be breathing at all.
*