The only thing separating the current incarnation of Prince from the post-1965 Judy Garland is a lethal cocktail of pills and alcohol. And maybe a pencil-thin mustache—though that is a matter of some dispute.
January 2005
Tinker Tailor Soldier Ukranian Secret Police Commander
Mark Moore tips me off to this fascinating account of Ukranian secret police (S.B.U.) commander Col. Gen. Ihor P. Smeshko’s heroic efforts to protect Ukranian protesters from anti-insurgent military forces during this past fall’s presidential election controversy: […] It was just after 10 p.m. on Nov. 28. More than 10,000 troops scrambled toward trucks. Most had helmets, shields and clubs. Three thousand carried guns. Many wore black masks. Within 45
Debunking pop-cultural myths, 2
The 1975-1979 Gabe Kaplan – Alan Sacks vehicle “Welcome Back, Kotter” was not originally titled simply “Kotter” (as an apocryphal story has it), but rather “So I See You’ve Finally Moved Out of Your Mother’s Basement and Gotten Yourself a Job Teaching Unfunny Retards, You Jew Loser.” The provocative title was changed, however, when former Lovin’ Spoonful lead singer John Sebastian, who had been commissioned to write the show’s theme
Notes from a CITIZEN JOURNALIST, 1
Just witnessed a blue, 1989 Celica w/ Colorado plates making its way up my street. It appeared to be obeying the speed limit, but without a radar gun I can’t be absolutely certain. Kerry / Edwards bumper sticker on left side of rear bumper. Driver could be on his way to a “Save Kofi” rally, or maybe just to 7-11 to pick up a cup of coffee and a package
Scenes from my driveway, continued x 50
Deadbeat neighbor: “Cold out here today, eh?” Me: “I AM A CITZEN JOURNALIST. I DEMAND PIE!” Deadbeat neighbor: Me: Deadbeat neighbor: Me: Deadbeat neighbor: “Okay. Well, I’m gonna go inside and watch the playoffs…” Me: “HUGH HEWITT IS MY MASTER! BLOG IS MY BIBLE!”* Deadbeat neighbor: “Uh huh. Anyway, stop over later if you want to try some of my famous playoff nachos. Like an orgy of cheese and beef,
Sorry, but if that damn armadillo of yours won’t dance for us, we’re just going to take our business els—
Fine, I’ll give him a twirl. But if he gets spooked and pisses all over the coffee table again, you‘re coming over to clean it up. Deal…?
