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July 2004
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July 14, 2004

Have not been invited to speak at the Democratic National Convention, Boston, 2004

Vintage “Stretch Armstrong” action figures Pulled pork sandwiches The 2004 Jeep Wrangler Sahara 4WD Cheese Whiz / Bill INDC Bo Derek’s Bolero wardrobe Poor people Mary Jo Kopechne’s ghost Clanton’s Trailer Park, Oklahoma City, OK Hillary Rodham Clinton **** h/t michele

Surrendering to my inner interior decorator

Don’t know about the gun, but that carpet! Absolutely yummy! Snaps. **** update: I’m picturing deep orange antiqued walls done with polished plaster and an oil glaze. Maybe some crackle in the corner. We’re talking a room so bad you’ll have to spank it twice a day just to keep it from running off with a much cooler house. Grrrrrrowl. Double snaps.

The Naked Truth

Newsweek’s Evan Thomas makes a surprising admission: “[…] And not only does the mainstream media want Kerry and Edwards to win come November, but it’s really into swinging and wife swapping, too. Particularly the New York Times, which, let me tell you, it’s like a John Updike novel over there. Seriously. We’re talking orgy central.”* *Most of this is made up. But then, so is a lot of the crap

Honky Tonk Man

From James Taranto, today’s BOTW: Ralph Nader says Rep. Melvin Watt flung an “obscene racist epithet” at him during a meeting last month. The ex-Green is seeing red because the Congressional Black Caucus member purportedly called him a “f—ing arrogant white man.” What actually happened is something of a gray area, though at least neither of them can be accused of brown-nosing. The Associated Press reports (third item) that a

Atkins hesitation, 7

Lunch Wednesday: a six egg, 14-cheese omelet topped with chopped green onions, grated parmesan, a pinch of sage, and a stick of frozen butter. Served over a bed of thick-cut onion rings and summer sausage medallions brushed with cream cheese. For dessert: anything you can lop off of a horse. Trivia: Smarty Jones became the 18th horse to lose a Triple Crown bid at Belmont. 0 net carbs.

Update 6

Ted Rall is still an idiot out of his fucking mind.*

Shannon Elizabeth comments on the Senate Intelligence Committee Report

“I haven’t read the report yet, actually. But I’m sure it’s very good. Say, would you like to see my breasts…?”

Children’s book openings that are sure to sell, 1

“Once upon a time, there was a young lawyer with fabulous locks who could read the minds of unborn children with cerebral palsy…”

Children’s book openings that are sure to sell, 1

“Once upon a time, there was a young lawyer with fabulous locks who could read the minds of unborn children with cerebral palsy…”

My brief conversation with John Kerry’s comb

Me: “Bonjour, John Kerry’s comb.” Comb: “Bonjour.” Me: “So, tell me: Product? Lots of product? And be honest now, because everyone knows he’s doing something up there.” Comb: “You mean you have to ask…? Let’s see… there’s gel, mousse, spray, color — you name it, he uses it. The guy thinks he’s Simon Le bon. But from a practical standpoint, he’s virtually wind and waterproof. Which in his line of