Deadbeat neighbor: “Can I ask you a question?” Me: “If you make it quick.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Why on earth did you spend half the afternoon smashing all those apples with a shovel?” Me: “Didn’t like their attitude. Simple as that.”
June 2004
June 30, 2004
Second in a series of real-time empirical observations
As you read this, Al Franken is rolling up a trouser leg and complaining about persistent swelling in his feet. The young segment producer he’s whining to nods, but what she’s thinking is, “man, this guy smells just like cheese blintzes.”
June 30, 2004
Moore corn chips, please
For those of you interested in such things, Mark Glaser’s new Online Journalism Review column — “MichaelMoore.com: Lightning Rod for Political Debate, Action” — is now up. I was one of the folks interviewed for the column. But it’s a good piece, anyway. Sadly, my quip about Moore getting himself consistently wedged in a bathtub he keeps filled with Cheeze Whiz and dipping chips got excised from the final draft.
June 30, 2004
Announcement
Spent most of yesterday in the ER with shortness of breath and tightness in my chest. I was released last night after a battery of tests at around 9, but I’m still finding it difficult to breathe deeply. When I yawn, for instance, I can’t seem to complete the yawn — that good deep party where your entire chest rattles and hummmms. I’ve never had asthma, but I feel like
June 29, 2004
Convergences
John Henke uncovers some very troubling facts about Michael Moore and the making of Fahrenheit 911. Related: In the time it takes you to read this entry, Michael Moore will have polished off an entire canned ham and half a deep-dish peach pie.
June 29, 2004
My fourth brief conversation with a McIntosh Apple
me: “You needn’t be so aloof, you know…” apple: me: apple: me: apple: me: “Fine. Have it your way then.”
June 29, 2004
Like Kryptonite to Occam’s Razor
Oliver Willis: “Happy ‘Iraqis’* Really Just Republican Operatives; Real Iraqis Express Bitterness at Freedom, Withhold Joy Until US Presidential Elections, Hoping Teresa Heinz Kerry Will Buy Them Each a Tasty Snowcone” **** h/t asv
June 29, 2004
First in a series of real-time empirical observations
In the time it takes you to read this post, Robin Williams will have been unfunny in six silly voices (eight, if you happen to read slowly).
June 28, 2004
The Michael Moore thanks his fans poem
for David Edelstein, et al. Thanks to all of you, I can finally pick up that solid-gold fondue pot I’ve long had my eye on.
June 28, 2004
Anti-Semitism, Anti-anti Zionism Pimping Alert (those who believe Jews should quit their bitching an
“Former French PM: Creation of Israel by Balfour Declaration a Historic Mistake”: Parliament, Michel Rocard, blasted Israel as an “abnormal case in the world”, describing its creation by the 1917-Balfour Declaration as a “historic mistake”. Rocard, who is also a well-known member of the French Socialist Party, was delivering a lecture at the Bibliotheca Alexandrina on June 16, in which he said that the Balfour promise England gave to the