For this contest. “If I can fit it in my mouth, I’ll eat it.” Or maybe… “Let me tell you about a little war called VietNam… Now, when I’m President…” h/t Michele
May 2004
May 19, 2004
Talking back to 80s music, 18
See? That’s precisely why I moved to the southwest. When we sit on the stony ground out in these parts, we do it with cold beers and grilled buffalo steaks. Not lemonade, cigarettes, and an assful of frostbite. No wonder you people are so goddamned miserable all the time… Dream Academy, “Life in a Northern Town” (which I must admit I really do dig). *** for this dude.
May 18, 2004
9 things that are not Chuck Schumer but very well could be
Anything organic scooped from Joy Behar’s skin folds Watery mucus (or loamy things) Any Ratt CD not named Out of the Cellar The videotaped taunting of a developmentally disabled child Low-carb light beer Mealy, bruised peaches Cynthia McKinney’s dirty thong “Little Noam” Porksicles **** Story Bonus links: Related. Not related. And bring me the head of Alfredo Copperheadfedayeen (not only unrelated, but barely even comprehensible). Oh, and OTB.
May 18, 2004
Dennis Hopper responds to Peter Fonda, expands on complicity in so-called “pig” murder
Hopper: “It was, like, one pig, man, and it wasn’t even a big pig. I mean, he makes me sound like some kind of drug-addled serial hog butcher or something. Meanwhile, I was making an artistic statement. “And what does that mean anyway — ‘fetishizing swine innards,’ man…? That’s just, like, a total fiction. A total fiction. Man.”
May 18, 2004
Scenes from my driveway, continued x 7
Deadbeat neighbor: “So, I finally got my own subscription…” Me: “Great.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Yeah, just signed up for it. Delivery starts tomorrow or Thursday.” Me: “Super.” Deadbeat neighbor: “So. Y’know…” Me: “Yeah.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Anyways, nice out here today, huh…? Maybe we’ll spark up the grill again tonight.” Me: “Go for it. Just remember what I said about the ribs.”
May 18, 2004
Tomorrow’s News Yesterday
Q: How many Abu Ghraib prison guards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Climb down off the Iraqi, Lynndie.
Dennis Hopper responds to Peter Fonda, expands on complicity in so-called “pig” murder
Hopper: “It was, like, one pig, man, and it wasn’t even a big pig. I mean, he makes me sound like some kind of drug-addled serial hog butcher or something. Meanwhile, I was making an artistic statement. “And what does that mean anyway — ‘fetishizing swine innards,’ man…? That’s just, like, a total fiction. A total fiction. Man.”