Me: “I know, don’t say it: you’ll be grilling again tonight.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Well, yeah, but –“ Me: ” — the smoke was pretty bad last night. My dogs were going nuts. Did you burn the ribs?” Deadbeat neighbor: ” — yeah, I did, but –“ Me: ” — because I warned you about those goddamned ribs. Gasoline is not lighter fluid. It’s gasoline. You rib-burning jerk.”
May 19, 2004
May 19, 2004
Words that just sound funny, #80: “blunderbuss”
eg. “Is that your blunderbuss?” “Yes, that blunderbuss belongs to me.”
May 19, 2004
Words that just sound funny, #80: “blunderbuss”
eg. “Is that your blunderbuss?” “Yes, that blunderbuss belongs to me.”
May 19, 2004
A message to the good folks at Soloman Bakeries, occasioned by my lunch
No one has ever successfully negotiated a pita pocket. No one. And that’s because there’s simply no way to stuff one of those things with meat, cheese, tuna fish salad — name your filling — without tearing it. At which point it becomes a bland, bastardized, leaky and unleavened breadbowl. Innovative foodstuffs my ass. Just stop it. Stop it with all your pita lies.
May 19, 2004
Really, I’d like to know.
I don’t get it. Is it that scimitars are just so cool looking? Flowing robes are less restrictive than jeans? What? What’s the draw of self defeat…?
May 19, 2004
Really, I’d like to know.
I don’t get it. Is it that scimitars are just so cool looking? Flowing robes are less restrictive than jeans? What? What’s the draw of self defeat…?
May 19, 2004
Cecil Colson would like a bit of context
Cecil Colson: “Should I bring lots of rubbers?”
May 19, 2004
Cats. Bags. Sweet Release.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s supposed to be a conspiracy, remember…? (But while we’re fessing up… y’know that whole “Richard Gere visited a Hollywood emergency room with a gerbil trapped in his rectum” story? That was mine. Got tired of his yammering on about Tibet all the time. So.)
May 19, 2004
Cats. Bags. Sweet Release.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s supposed to be a conspiracy, remember…? (But while we’re fessing up… y’know that whole “Richard Gere visited a Hollywood emergency room with a gerbil trapped in his rectum” story? That was mine. Got tired of his yammering on about Tibet all the time. So.)