My alma mater. Yes, I’ll be skipping the reunion.

On Abu Ghraib Prison… Senator Evan Bayh: “Secretary Rumsfeld, even though you weren’t personally involved in the underlying acts here, would it serve to demonstrate how seriously we take this situation, and therefore help to undo some of the damage to our reputation, if you were to step down? ” Donald Rumsfeld: “That’s possible. And of course a sphincter says what, Senator.” Senator Evan Bayh: “I’m sorry, what was that

eg. “Is that your sprocket?” “Yes, that sprocket belongs to me.”

eg. “Is that your sprocket?” “Yes, that sprocket belongs to me.”

Quick: Diamonds Are Forever, The Spy Who Loved Me, Dr. No, or From Russia with Love? I’ve got a couple of hours to kill. update: poll is now closed. Thanks to all who participated.

With apologies to these guys (whom Bush also owes the world an apology for, come to think of it)… 10.  The Bay of Pigs fiasco. 9.  “Perfect Strangers.” Or at least Balki. 8.   Every Woody Allen movie after Bullets Over Broadway. 7.   That whole Donovan McNabb / Rush Limbaugh thing. And Michael Irvin, so long as we’re fessing up. 6.   (Tie) Vegan “chicken” wings. Vegan “corn dogs.” 5.   My first girlfriend, Lori Levin, who cheated on

Those close to me know that for years I’ve dreamed of heading north and becoming an Impossiblist. I’ve got the cape, the spangled tux, the collection of situation-specific magical hats. Hell, I can even hypnotize angry chickens in a matter of seconds, given enough quiet and the right mixture of feed and barbituates. But after seeing how the Canadian television industry has turned its back on Reveen! — a veritable

Not me. Yes you. Couldn’t be! Then who?

Not me. Yes you. Couldn’t be! Then who?

Bender: “Sweets. You couldn’t ignore me if you tried.”