…’the hell…?
May 18, 2005
May 18, 2005
The “A poem for Boutros Boutros-Ghali” poem
No doubt about it: Boutros Boutros-Ghali is still more fun to say than Yo-Yo Ma—the protestations of a billion plus Chinamen notwithstanding…¹ **** ¹unless you like saying Yo-Yo Ma better. In which case, simply switch the order of proper names in the poem and change the line “biillion plus Chinamen” to “a truckload of angry Egyptians.”
May 18, 2005
“The yin and yang of intimate interpersonal relationships post, 11” (from the protein wisdom conceptual series)
yin: “Just once I’d like you to validate my feelings.” yang: “Just once I’d like you to dust, then make me a turkey club. And for Chrissakes, toast the bread this time, would you? We don’t live in a freakin’ cave.”
May 18, 2005
9 alternate excuses the Newsweek editorial staff considered offering for its decision to run with the Q’uran desecration story
“We thought it would bolster the morale of U.S. troops, who by and large are some demented and bloodthirsty Muslim haters to begin with, you have to admit.” “It’s unfortunate, sure. But a lull in the Michael Jackson trial really kinda forced our hand…” “BUSH LIED!” “Life is but a palimpsest, a layering of competing narratives each one manuevering for primacy of place in an endless historiographical manuscript written in
May 18, 2005
“You misunderstood. What we’re offering here isn’t so much an apology as an ‘explanation’…”
Karol Sheinin points me to this piece from the Columbia Journalism Review which, y’know, just wants to make it clear that Newsweek (and by extension the entirety of the elite liberal media, one gets the feeling) has not actually retracted its anti-US Q’uran-flushing story, but rather has temporarily and conditionally qualified it until such time as its editorial staff can find others to re-level the charges against US interrogators: What
May 18, 2005
red pills found behind the sofa cushions, prolepsis 9
Walked into my bathroom just now to find the Sea Monkey King kneeling naked on a stool in front of the medicine cabinet mirror, having himself. At least, I think that’s what he was doing—though I suppose it’s possible he was just strangling a cherry Gummi Bear and really, really enjoying it. Hard to tell with these creatures sometimes, to be honest. And it’s not like you can ask them,
Shannon Elizabeth comments on an April 30 match between 42 Cambodian Fighting Midgets and an African lion, called in 12 minutes after 28 Cambodian Fighting Midgets were killed and the rest seriously injured
Elizabeth: “Well, if it’s any consolation I’m sure Panthera Leo wasn’t the first huge pussy to swallow up a Cambodian fighting midget…”* “Speaking of which, did I ever tell you Joe Pantoliano says I have breasts like a couple of Gorbachev heads? Sweet guy, that Joey Pants.” **** (thanks T. Marcell)*