Search






Jeff's Amazon.com Wish List

Archive Calendar

August 2004
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  

Archives

August 12, 2004

Scenes from my driveway, continued x 32

Deadbeat neighbor: “…I’m not a racist, you know.” Me: “I know.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Because you called me a racist the other day…” Me: “I know, I remember.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Well, I’m not one…” Me: “I know.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Okay, good.  As long as we have that straight…” Me: Deadbeat neighbor: Me: Deadbeat neighbor: “…So, that Halle Berry sure is one fly momma, ain’t she –?” Me: “– Okay, let’s just

Vice presidential candidate John Edwards attempts a hog call (or, I really should throw up a post before lunch)

“Sue-doctors!  Suedoctors suedoctors suedoctors!”

A reminder to those covering the Republican National Convention

From the Weekly Standard‘s Andrew Ferguson: In 2004 the traditional chorus of complaints has swelled with a fresh set of high, piping voices. These were the bloggers, nearly a hundred of them, or so I heard, who were granted press credentials and workstations and who arrived in Boston and set to work with the earnest, insouciant enthusiasm of the hobbyist, which is their chief charm. From what I’ve gathered over

If instead of a pampered heiress Teresa Heinz Kerry were 70s blaxploitation icon John Shaft

Overheard in the Boston statehouse, July 25 Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reporter Colin McNickle:  “In your speech, Mrs. Heinz Kerry, you said ‘We need to turn back some of the creeping, un-Pennsylvanian and sometimes un-American traits that are coming into some of our politics.’ What did you mean by un-American activity, precisely?” THK: “I didn’t say that, man.  You’re putting words in my mouth.” Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reporter Colin McNickle: “No, you said

“Dr. Kerry is here to cure you all,’’ the Democratic candidate for president told 200 Nevada senior citizens yesterday…

…which so precisely illustrates the pandering paternalism of John Kerry the candidate that I have little more to offer, save to point out that 50% of the American electorate evidently wants to wake November 3rd to find this elitist fop’s finger in their ass.* Go figure.

“Dr. Kerry is here to cure you all,’’ the Democratic candidate for president told 200 Nevada senior citizens yesterday…

…which so precisely illustrates the pandering paternalism of John Kerry the candidate that I have little more to offer, save to point out that 50% of the American electorate evidently wants to wake November 3rd to find this elitist fop’s finger in their ass.* Go figure.

Great 70s-era put downs that no longer resonate (third in a series)

“Rip Taylor called.  He wants his gay back.”

Peter, Paul, and Mary: a (quasi-libertarian) reimagining

If I had a hammer / I’d probably just keep it in my toolbox until I needed to drive a nail into something / Or pull a nail out of something—like, say, old shelving / Nope. No hammering out danger or warning from this guy’s hammer / Because this guy’s hammer knows when to mind its own goddamned business / Unlike those flower-loving hippie hammers.