Evidently, masturbation is a lost art among the Myanmarese….
August 2, 2004
August 2, 2004
John Edwards professes his love for bunnies
Edwards: “It’s true. I love bunnies. I find them to be quite adorable. What of it?” ***update*** Jimmy Carter responds: “Bunnies are the Devil’s handmaidens, John. And they can swim like fish. Giant, hairy, buck-toothed fish. Watch yourself.”*
August 2, 2004
9 names Teresa Heinz Kerry uses privately when referring to Wendy’s chili
“It’s pronounced chil-ay, peasants.” Boeuf fra diablo What our maids eat “Take it away. Now!” Beans are for poor people Bushcountry caviar “I believe I’ve soiled my panties, John” Montezuma’s gristle-filled revenge That brown stuff in the yellow cup **** h/t Jeff Wilcox. Story 1. Story 2. Much more here. And here.
August 2, 2004
9 names Teresa Heinz Kerry uses privately when referring to Wendy’s chili
“It’s pronounced chil-ay, peasants.” Boeuf fra diablo What our maids eat “Take it away. Now!” Beans are for poor people Bushcountry caviar “I believe I’ve soiled my panties, John” Montezuma’s gristle-filled revenge That brown stuff in the yellow cup **** h/t Jeff Wilcox. Story 1. Story 2. Much more here. And here.
August 2, 2004
My sixth brief conversation with a McIntosh apple
me: “Mondays, eh? How depressing.” apple: “Actually, in apple culture, Mondays are considered holy days.” me: “Really? Holy days? That’s fascinating. So what, you’re like a Druid or something– ?” apple: “– Relax, I was just messing with you, man. Mondays pretty much suck for apples, too. Although existentially speaking, any day we’re not baked into a pie is a good day…”
August 2, 2004
Debunking pop-cultural myths, 1
Though she’ll never mention it to anyone, deep down in her soul, Joannie never really loved Chachi—though his wristbands did get her hotter than a griddle-seared tuna steak, extra rare.
August 2, 2004
Over the rainbow
Somewhere, Steve Forbes just sprung a chubby…* **** h/t Mike update: George Gaskell has some more detailed thoughts here. See also: QandO, INDC Journal and OTB.
August 2, 2004
Film reviews in five words or less, #13
Putney Swope (1969) Directed by Robert Downey, Sr. Stars Arnold Johnson, Antonio Fargas, Allen Garfield, Stan Gottlieb, Buddy Butler, and Spunky-Funk Johnson. Five words or less review: And you think I’m crazy…* *highly recommended.