me: “Mondays, eh? How depressing.”
apple: “Actually, in apple culture, Mondays are considered holy days.”
me: “Really? Holy days? That’s fascinating. So what, you’re like a Druid or something– ?”
apple: “– Relax, I was just messing with you, man. Mondays pretty much suck for apples, too. Although existentially speaking, any day we’re not baked into a pie is a good day…”
That apple can really yank your stem. I fell for it too, if it makes you feel any better.
Perhaps leaning a shovel against the wall (nonchalantly, of course) would discourage this sort of seedy behaviour in future apple conversations. And if not, well, at least the shovel’s handy.
I read about some blackbirds (four and twenty, to be exact) that would say essentially the same thing.