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May 2004

Candidate Bill McKay begs to differ with Senator George McGovern, 1971

McKay: “I don’t think we have a shit in common.”

Ode on an idealized idea of the Teamsters, c. 1968; revised 2004

“The Symbol” – variations on a theme   When I was hitch-hiking down to Boulder, Peter Pan stopped and picked me up. He was driving a truckload of Angus beef cattle to Denver.   “Do you like being a truckdriver better than you do a lost boy?” I asked.   “Yeah,” Peter Pan said. “Hoffa is a lot better to us forever boys than Captain Hook ever was.   “The old fart.”

The People’s Republic of DR

Well now. My crayon box only cost me $4.99. For 64 colors. And it came with a built in sharpener. Somebody’s getting screwed, I’d say… **** update: link “fixed”

The People’s Republic of DR

Well now. My crayon box only cost me $4.99. For 64 colors. And it came with a built in sharpener. Somebody’s getting screwed, I’d say… **** update: link “fixed”

Scenes from my driveway, continued

Deadbeat neighbor: “Be careful pulling out of your garage, okay? Somebody broke a bottle in the driveway last night. I think I got most of the glass up with a broom, but I’m not sure. I was pretty drunk.” Me: “‘Somebody’ broke a bottle…?” Deadbeat neighbor: “Yeah. I think it might have been me, if you want the truth.” Me: “I do. Which reminds me: John Kerry is an asshole.”

The Dos Equis Files

FBI Agent Fox Mulder: “Where, Mexico? Bullshit. First off, alien beings can’t speak Spanish — can’t roll the ‘r’s,’ it so happens. And secondly, every paranormal investigator worth his salt will tell you that extraterrestrials absolutely hate spicy foods. Something about the chili pepper just, y’know, turns them off. It’s weird.” **** update: Which reminds me, I wonder what Rand makes of this…?

He’s the youngest Marx Brother, right?

In an excellent Weekly Standard feature article, Christopher Caldwell argues that “Spain’s problem with terrorism is Europe’s” problem, namely, that “it does not want to defend itself”: […] Spain’s entire sense of its safety rests on the idea that March 11 was condign punishment for its participation in the Iraq war. If Spaniards stopped believing that, they would fall into a panic, and they are fighting against a great deal

He’s the youngest Marx Brother, right?

In an excellent Weekly Standard feature article, Christopher Caldwell argues that “Spain’s problem with terrorism is Europe’s” problem, namely, that “it does not want to defend itself”: […] Spain’s entire sense of its safety rests on the idea that March 11 was condign punishment for its participation in the Iraq war. If Spaniards stopped believing that, they would fall into a panic, and they are fighting against a great deal

Look

Go here. Please.

Gauntlet

Blogging will resume when I get the respect I damn well deserve. And not a moment sooner. Period. I hope I’ve made myself clear. **** update: Ooh, muffins, thanks! But wait, no milk…? update 2: When I said “respect,” what I really meant was muffins. Muffins. That is all.