Walter in Denver points me to the website of Big Alcohol.com — home to “a team of dedicated professionals that [sic] seek to see a leveling of the field [?] with the battle [say what now?] for the lives of our children [speak for yourself, “team”] and countless others who are affected by alcohol and the ownership it has of the political and social life of the United States.” Or

“[…] the Alaska Administrative Code provides that no person ‘may drive a vehicle when he has in his embrace, or holds in his hands, another person in a manner (that) prevents the free and unhampered operation of the vehicle.’” Black letter law, I’m afraid — surreal, sure, but binding nevertheless. Still, kudos, Richard Wallace, 37, of Fairbanks. I own a Jeep myself. And anybody who can throw a drunk hump

See also: “Salad Days, the musical.”

Knock Knock. Who’s there? The new Hamas leader. The new Hamas leader who? Exactly. *** update: a reader writes that the new leader is called Mahmoud Zahar. So I’ve made the following changes to my original post: Knock Knock Who’s there? The new leader of Hamas. The new leader of Hamas who? Mahmoud Zahar. Weren’t you paying attention?

I have no idea why I keep torturing myself this way, but I popped over to Oliver Willis’ place (“like kryptonite to functioning synapses”) and was treated to this sanctimonious twaddle: There’s politics, and then there is morality. George Bush purports to be a Christian, so I hope that he can reconcile himself with his God when he understands the fruits of his deception in getting us in to war,

…Has anybody else noticed how Bob Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone” is essentially a hippie-poetic anthem celebrating unapologetic schadenfreude? Not only that, it’s anti-collectivist at heart, and the lyrics — after a proper deconstructive reading — reveal a sinister materialist underbelly to the counterculture aesthetic, one that Don Henley would remark on years later in “Boys of Summer.” Also, that guy on the bike should not be wearing those shorts

There’s nothing to do in Denver when you’re dead. Because you’re dead, remember? Look at what your atheism’s brought you, my son. Repent! Repent!

“Five sets of remains believed to be those of American soldiers who went missing during the Vietnam War were sent home Sunday nearly 30 years after the war ended.” The remains were loaded onto a C-17 transport plane in central Danang, from where they were to be flown to an Army laboratory in Honolulu for identification. The remains were located in central and southern Vietnam by a joint recovery team

My money’s on that vast rightwing conspiracy. It can be so ornery before it’s had its coffee…