Finally, something French I can get behind that’s not named Ludivine Sagnier… Next up: aerosol cheese. Welcome to the 21st century, mes amis…

John Kerry’s campaign looks more and more like an “X-Files” episode with each passing day. I don’t know about the rest of you, but me, I’m stocking up on silver bullets, sharpened stakes, and cloves of garlic strung into demon-repellent necklaces. I’m also thinking about writing a flat tax manifesto and folding it into the shape of a crucifix. Just in case. Lenin to Kerry: “Beware the power of the

Is there anything worse than death by trial lawyer? Probably not — until we start seeing advertisements for “Joey Buttafuoco: The Cologne.” And don’t think it won’t happen, either.

Chapter 3: Trout Fishing in America Revisited Chapter 1. Chapter 2.      “Do I know you?” I asked after awhile, confident that I didn’t.      “No,” she said. “But then I don’t know you, either.”      That made two of us.      She took another swig of my Boone’s Farm wine, strawberry, then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, eyeing me carefully. “Why the long face?” she asked finally.      I smiled.