Dammit, I knew I never should’ve given my cannon to charity.  But my wife was like, “it’s not like you’re using it anyway, Jeff” and I was all, “yeah, but you never know when you’re going to need a cannon, honey—what with Bush marching the country toward theocracy, and what with the Islamofascist menace threatening to cross the borders and behead us for eating pork or watching ‘Will & Grace.’

Final post on the subject, folks:  Once again, thank you for all your help and support.  I’ve tried to email a brief thank you note to everyone who’s contributed so far, but some of you I may have missed in my blundering attempt to use this loaner box efficiently (thanks again, Jeralyn).  Please know that I am very very grateful, and that I probably just stupidly deleted your original email.

For those of you who like your Oscars™ commercial-free and condensed into a witty 2-minute read, I recommend Kate’s coverage (she live-blogged it) from north of the border. For my part, I’m going to go revisit a few of my Sidney Lumet DVDs.  Man, what a career that guy has had.

“Here’s what I know for sure, Billy:  the Colorado board of regents is scared to death of me—scared of the way I deconstruct traditional notions of ‘art’; scared of my willingness to condemn their bogus country, built over the bones of our ancestors; and finally, scared that I’ll sue their asses off for civil rights violations should they dare try shitcanning me.  In fact, rumor has it that they’re planning

Puck:  “…And another thing:  These Napoleon puff pastries?—an embarrasment.  Look how flat and sickly looking!  I mean, I ask for Angelina Jolie, and you idiots give me Glenn Close, no…?  ”Answer Wolfgang, bitches!”

In less important news, Saddam Hussein’s half-brother Sabawi Ibrahim al-Hasan al-Tikriti has been captured by Iraqi forces. From the BBC: A half-brother and one-time aide to former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein has been captured, the Iraqi interim government has said. It accused Sabawi Ibrahim al-Hasan al-Tikriti of planning and carrying out terrorist acts. He is high on a list of the 29 most wanted insurgents, and the US military was

From the Tehran Times: Academics and members of the appointed consultative council in the United Arab Emirates came out in favor of elections in the Persian Gulf state, arguing that it could not stay out of the regional trend toward elected bodies. When millions of Arabs in Palestine, Iraq and Saudi Arabia have gone to the polls, the UAE cannot continue to lag behind, Professor Abdul Khaleq Abdullah of the

So I stop by the grocery store this afternoon to pick up a few sundries, and on the way back to my truck—at the very edge of my peripheral vision—I catch sight of something stalking me, a barely noticeable form that tracks me all the way from just outside the store’s automatic door to the rear cargo hatch of my SUV.  Yet when I finally swing my head around to