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BREAKING: A DEFIANT BRIT HUME SPENDS SUNDAY WATCHING ‘I HEART HUCKABEES’ ON DVD AND NOT ANSWERING THE CALL TO RESIGN FROM HIS POSITION AS FOX NEWS WASHINGTON EDITOR OVER ACCUSATIONS FROM LEFTWING ACTIVISTS THAT HE IS “A LYING LIAR WHO LIKES TO LIE ABOUT HIS LYING LIARLINESS”; A FRUSTRATED OLIVER WILLIS INSISTS, “WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT,” ADDS, “UNLESS MCDONALD’S BRINGS BACK THE MCRIB SANDWICH, IN WHICH CASE, ALL BETS ARE OFF”

In less important news, Saddam Hussein’s half-brother Sabawi Ibrahim al-Hasan al-Tikriti has been captured by Iraqi forces. From the BBC:

A half-brother and one-time aide to former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein has been captured, the Iraqi interim government has said.

It accused Sabawi Ibrahim al-Hasan al-Tikriti of planning and carrying out terrorist acts.

He is high on a list of the 29 most wanted insurgents, and the US military was offering a $1m reward for him.

Only 11 of the 55 most wanted former regime members have escaped capture or death at the hands of US-led forces.

Mr Tikriti, a maternal half-brother of Saddam Hussein, was number 36 on the list of former Baathist officials issued by the Americans.

Congressman Maurice Hinchey (D-NY) responds:  “Sure, fine, whatever.  But what about Jeff Gannon and his GAY PORN COCK OF LIES?  We mustn’t forget that.  BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY!”*

****

update: “Syria ‘gave up’ brother of Saddam”:

Syria handed over a half-brother and former aide to Saddam Hussein suspected of funding and planning the post-war insurgency, Iraqi sources say […]

[…]No official comment was made about Syria but the Iraqi sources said it had acted under international pressure.

Damascus has been accused of having links to attacks in Lebanon and Israel as well as harbouring Iraqi rebels.

“The Syrian authorities, because of the tremendous pressure on them, did something about Ibrahim,” a source described as a “senior government official” told Reuters news agency on condition of anonymity in Baghdad.

“Having so many problems on their plate at the moment, the Syrians were willing partners in this, but the Americans and we were also involved.”

BBC correspondent Jim Muir notes the Iraqi government is neither confirming nor denying the reports for now.

Damascus appears to have also tightened its border controls in recent weeks after accusations that militants were using them to cross into Iraq.

Congressman Maurice Hinchey (D-NY):  “Syria shmeeria.  This is the Rethuglican Illuminati we’re talking about, people.  Concentrate!  Concentrate on the COCK!”

****

update: BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY*

18 Replies to “BREAKING: A DEFIANT BRIT HUME SPENDS SUNDAY WATCHING ‘I HEART HUCKABEES’ ON DVD AND NOT ANSWERING THE CALL TO RESIGN FROM HIS POSITION AS FOX NEWS WASHINGTON EDITOR OVER ACCUSATIONS FROM LEFTWING ACTIVISTS THAT HE IS “A LYING LIAR WHO LIKES TO LIE ABOUT HIS LYING LIARLINESS”; A FRUSTRATED OLIVER WILLIS INSISTS, “WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT,” ADDS, “UNLESS MCDONALD’S BRINGS BACK THE MCRIB SANDWICH, IN WHICH CASE, ALL BETS ARE OFF””

  1. BumperStickerist says:

    Jeff .. you forget one thing:  ODubs has the attention span of a COCKer Spaniel … he’s gone on to tackle – envelope really – the issue of Jeff Jarvis and the Jarvisian Menace.

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    That’s surprising to me, BumperStickerist, because “Hume” is easier to spell.  And I have a theory that Oliver attacks only those whose names he can spell without having to double check.

  3. dorkafork says:

    Good news.  They also turned over 29 other Baathist officials to Iraq.  And ain’t that a coincidence?  They got them all after the uproar over Hariri.  I’m thinking al-Hassan and his 29 buddies just happened to have scheduled their yearly Baathist BBQ for after Valentine’s Day, and the Syrians just happened to find out about it.

    More good news.  The McRib is back.  (At participating McDonald’s locations.)

  4. Frank Villon says:

    Sabawi Ibrahim al-Hasan al-Tikriti was the six of diamonds, so what does that make Congressman Maurice Hinchey (D-NY)?  The Queen of clubs?

  5. Sean M. says:

    Bumper, Jeff, you should be ashamed of yourselves, picking on a handicapped boy like that!

  6. sans-a-belt summer says:

    No no no no no no no NO!

    New York CongressWOMAN LOUISE SLAUGHTER is the one who is obsessed with Jeff Gannon’s EIGHT INCH GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY ESCORT UNCUT COCK OF GAIETY.

    New York CongressMAN MAURICE HINCHEY is obsessed with the evil Karl’s Rove evil plan for world domination, and evil, which only tangentially involves Jeff Gannon’s EIGHT INCH GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY ESCORT UNCUT COCK OF GAIETY.

    What the hell is in the Empire State’s water, anyway?  New York Congressman Charles Rangel has some whacked-out conspiracies theories, too, none of which I can remember, because, and correct me if I’m wrong, none of them involve Jeff Gannon’s EIGHT INCH GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY ESCORT UNCUT COCK OF GAIETY.

    But I could be wrong.

  7. gail says:

    People, try to get the cut-uncut distinction right. Many Renaissance Italian painters made a similar error in depicting the little baby Jesus au naturel as a tot with a hoodie. Bad Renaissance Italian painters! Bad!

  8. BumperStickerist says:

    I never think of Willis ‘attacking’ anybody.  That would require something akin to personal courage and, quite likely, mobility.

    What courage is there involved – a continued non-relevance to Democratic politics?

    His job isn’t at stake – at least he hasn’t *really* disclosed whether his employment is contingent on the number of Jarvis-Stupidhead posts he can make in a given month. 

    I mean, jeez – talk about a case study in self-esteem gone horribly, horribly awry – Jarvis has managed to actually, you know, do something.

    Willis has simply managed to be. 

    The existential nature of which is more up your alley than mine.

  9. gail says:

    An attack by Oliver Willis somehow conjures up the blancmange that wanted to win Wimbledon…

  10. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Well, looks like Oliver is venturing offsite to attack me.

  11. gail says:

    splork, squish, slosh, ooze….he’s coming for you Jeff.

  12. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Best not try to camouflage myself by dipping myself in butter, then.

  13. sans-a-belt summer says:

    You’re inside Oliver’s head, Jeff.

    You, along with a 55-gallon drum of chocolate pudding.

    And a side of bacon.  Hell, not just a side, a whole WALL of bacon.

    And enough Redi-Whip to completely cover the District of Columbia, eight inches deep (which is, by the way, the precise length of Jeff Gannon’s EIGHT INCH GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY ESCORT UNCUT COCK OF GAIETY and HYPOCRISY).

  14. gail says:

    Best not try to camouflage myself by dipping myself in butter, then.

    Not unless you’re fully prepared to be transformed into a Scotsman.

  15. Frank Villon says:

    I suppose that also rules out dipping yourself in guacamole with a side of sour cream, huh?

  16. Sean M. says:

    Slathering yourself in barbecue sauce is also right out.

  17. The Syrians coughed up THIRTY Iraqi Baathists.

    Thirty.

    That’s quite a haul.  The Syrians must be panicking.

  18. Carin says:

    Dowd sure knows how to stay on target!

Comments are closed.