So I stop by the grocery store this afternoon to pick up a few sundries, and on the way back to my truck—at the very edge of my peripheral vision—I catch sight of something stalking me, a barely noticeable form that tracks me all the way from just outside the store’s automatic door to the rear cargo hatch of my SUV.
Yet when I finally swing my head around to confront it, all I can make out is a slight visual tremor in the air—a miscast shadow or some inorganic ripple of sunlight or something that suggests to me, intuitively, that my stalker has camouflaged himself by adapting fluidly to the parking lot’s scenery.
Which, of course, is all very spooky until it dawns on me that what I’ve seen is really just a LeBaron convertible with the top down, driving around looking for an open parking spot.
But, y’know. Still.*
You gotta watch those LeBaron convertibles.
I’m betting they could beat both the Predators and the Aliens.
But probably not Spider-Man. ‘Cause he could just, y’know, tangle up their tires in his web stuff.
yeah, right, Spider-man’s gonna waste webbing on a LeBaron.
Apple plans to offer this cloaking feature on their next iPod.
Mental image: Jeff leaving Piggly Wiggly with two cans of whipped cream, a jar of peanut butter, a pound of Pink Lady apples, and some kelp. Looks over shoulder. Walks a little more quickly. Looks again. Picks up the pace, suddenly wheels around in jijitsu high-kick-to-the-adams-apple position screaming like a girl.
Oh. Sorry Mrs. Magillicutty. Did I get your cane? Here. Let me help you.
Nice image Ana. Maybe Mrs. M would appreciate a little hit off the Redi-Whip can. She’ll forget all about that pesky rheumatism and be much less likely to sue.
When I go deer hunting, I camoflage myself as a mid 90’s Honda Civic.
Cause if you pay attention, you’ll notice that the deer seem to like to throw themselves in front of mid ‘90’s Honda Civics on the highway.
Is Martha Stewart out of jail? If not, where’s my Martha Stewart Diary Pr0n, dammit?!
Martha is meditating.
And while Martha’s meditating, she probably doesn’t have access to Photoshop.
Back in the seventies, I dated a Honda Civic for a while. You know, the little one that looked like a cartoon car, where the headlights are the eyes? Once, after an all-night three-way with a young lesbian Saab, I made her come upstairs and wash up before going home to her boyfriend. Because, you know, he would have smelled that Saab all over her.
Martha is meditating.
And all is right with the world.
Sooo, this invisible trick to superimpose your surroundings to make yourself invisible is a geek party trick? So they flash the image of the posters of Britney spears and/or Halo2 on their clothes so they sneak around their rooms?
Man, those geeks have all the fun.
Robin, not many people are aware of the attraction of deer to Civics. Ford pickups and armadillos are another frequent combination. I’m sure there’s some military project looking into the applications. After all,
So I’m sleeping better at night. You ?
So.. You’ve seen them too.. The LIBs (LeBarons In Black) .. They all say I’m crazy but I know what I’ve seen..
Bi(polar)_Man
spam word: subject
.. as in “our cover is blown..the subject has spotted our LeBaron.. start shutting this project down.. I want this place sterile and all of you transporting back to the Farm by 18:00 hrs..”