Dammit, I knew I never should’ve given my cannon to charity. But my wife was like, “it’s not like you’re using it anyway, Jeff” and I was all, “yeah, but you never know when you’re going to need a cannon, honey—what with Bush marching the country toward theocracy, and what with the Islamofascist menace threatening to cross the borders and behead us for eating pork or watching ‘Will & Grace.’ The world,” I reminded her, “is a dangerous place that calls for keeping a good cannon around.”
But in the end, she got her way.
And now look.
Fuck.
****
(h/t ASV)
I like the bit at the end about the
winner having to move the cannon on
short notice. HST must be getting ripe,
sitting there in the office.
They provide the cannon and require an essay and have to pay transport costs and have to do all this by snail mail? Amazing.
Are they going to cremate him first? Or is it going to be like those guys that fly out of the cannon at circuses?
Somehow, I doubt any fans of HST own cannons.
Well, I suppose if Thompson’s wish on earth was to leave a legacy of kooky, he succeeded.
Funny, when I heard they needed a cannon I thought of you second. Of course, the first person I thought of was Thompson himself.
I have a ten pound Parrot circa 1864. I would need to put him through a food processor and make about twenty shot cans to get all of him up there. Plus, those shot cans are coming down somewhere about five hundred yards out. I hope the neighbors don’t mind.
If they cremate him it would probably fit in one can or I could mix him and some extra salt peter in the powder and turn him into a big puff of blue smoke. Now that would be cool.
“Disk ID trace in Arrest of Radar sends “Windows for serial killer Idiots” through the roof”…. breaking…..
– I’m thinking Wonkette could have come up with a more coorful way to “launch” Thompsons ash…..
– … sends sales of… and colorful – PIMF
If HST were really creative, he would have had his ashes put in all the White House dining room pepper shakers.
Plan B:
Sprinkle him into a super grande green chili burrito with extra hot salsa, consumed 60 minutes prior to a warm water enema. Takes you to the same place.
I’ve got a cannon.
1.6” (yeah, golf ball size, but I shoot lead balls or slugs) bore, about fortytwo inches long, and she sits in a beautiful naval carriage.
I have better things to do with it than poop HST onto somebody’s yard one last time, though.
Stuff like blowing up water jugs. Vaporizing OBL targets. Or maybe I’ll go hunting with it someday.
They should use the same gun he used to off himself.
May take more than one shot, but…
Geez, Jeff, why don’t you just make one like Kirk did in that episode with the Gorn?
Later,
bbeck
You know, HST and his family are convincing proof of two phenomenon:
1) You really can smoke yourself retarded
2) If Hollywood doesn’t base a sit-com or movie on HST, they really have lost all creativity and intelligence.
How nice this post..impressive with this entry..
Cheers,
Golfman Story
Read Famous Strippers in Movies bookmarks.
virtuagirl.byethost12.com
Unlimited free software and movies downloads. Only full versions. Shop for stripping videos, and deals on tons of other products.
Click Here to Find Spirituality Movies…
Teaching ESL requires a lot of creativity. Students can range from tiny tots to adults, and their skill level can be very experienced or at the basic level. With all these variables, teaching ESL can be challenging, so this list offers 100 of the best …