Those close to me know that for years I’ve dreamed of heading north and becoming an Impossiblist. I’ve got the cape, the spangled tux, the collection of situation-specific magical hats. Hell, I can even hypnotize angry chickens in a matter of seconds, given enough quiet and the right mixture of feed and barbituates. But after seeing how the Canadian television industry has turned its back on Reveen! — a veritable pioneer in televised Impossiblism — I’m not so sure my dream is one worth pursuing anymore. I mean, to be chewed up and spit out like some sort of cheap, juiceless, Impossiblist tobacco leaf…? No thank you, Canada.

Sure, it’s a calling, Impossiblism is. But in the long run, a man’s gotta eat, too.

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h/t Dario, who knows me better than I know myself.