Scientific conclusion: women should stay at home and cook for me.

“For comedian Alan King, nobody was out of bounds when it came to humor. Not even the queen of England.” Once, after performing for Queen Elizabeth II in London, King was introduced to Britain’s monarch, who asked him, “How do you do, Mr. King?” “How do you do, Mrs. Queen?” he quickly replied. “She stared at me, and then Prince Philip laughed,” King would recall afterward. “Thank God Prince Philip

I was robbed. ‘s all I’m saying.

Michael Moore, in a phone call to the quantum physics lab, Canberra’s Australian National University, May 9: “Forget all that ‘lasers and crystals’ technical junk. What I need to know is, can it make cheeseburgers materialize on the arm of a recliner? Because if so I want 6, all with bacon and onions, like, yesterday…”

William Safire, writing in today’s New York Times: Torture is both unlawful and morally abhorrent. But what about gathering intelligence from suspected or proven terrorists by codified, regulated, manipulative interrogation? Information thus acquired can save thousands of lives. Will we now allow the pendulum to swing back to “name, rank, serial number,” as if suspected terrorists planning the bombing of civilians were uniformed prisoners of war obeying the rules of

eg. “Is he ichthyophagous?” “Yes, I believe him to be ichthyophagously* inclined.” *Used here in its adverbial form.

eg. “Is he ichthyophagous?” “Yes, I believe him to be ichthyophagously* inclined.” *Used here in its adverbial form.

Chapter 8: You Be the Painter and I’ll Be the Critic Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7.      “A long time ago,” I began, “before you were born and then some, I spent my salad days wandering from one small town to the next, catching trout and fileting them down into silvery slick trout metaphors. As it happened, these metaphors turned a generation’s

From the cutting room floor, ABC News, continued: 20/20’s Barbara Walters: “Teresa. While giving an interview to Telemundo recently — and we should point out to our viewers that Telemundo is NBC‘s Spanish-language network — you called Vice President Dick Cheney ‘unpatriotic’…” Teresa Heinz Kerry: “I did indeed, Barbara.” Barbara Walters: “That is quite a serious charge to level at a sitting Vice President, wouldn’t you agree? Especially during a