Got viciously drunk on Edwards’ optimism last night and am quite hungover this morning as a result. Head feels stuffed like a Sandy Berger trouser leg. To make matters worse, I found a message scrawed in Revlon Illuminance Creme Shadow lipstick on my bathroom mirror just now that reads, “the monkey loveses the spanky!” So I think I’m going to be sick. update: my room smells a bit like Greta
July 2004
July 29, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 11 B
Got viciously drunk on Edwards’ optimism last night and am quite hungover this morning as a result. Head feels stuffed like a Sandy Berger trouser leg. To make matters worse, I found a message scrawed in Revlon Illuminance Creme Shadow lipstick on my bathroom mirror just now that reads, “the monkey loveses the spanky!” So I think I’m going to be sick. update: my room smells a bit like Greta
July 29, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 11
Immediately following John Edwards uplifting promise to protect our ports from marauding bands of corporate outsourcers, Susan Estrich pinched my ass and slipped her room key into my complimentary Pina Colada. Which would have been flattering had the dirty little party girl not called me “Shep.” Incidentally, the cheap bastards at the DNC really skimped on the rum. To the point where my complimentary Pina Colada tastes like tap water
July 29, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 11
Immediately following John Edwards uplifting promise to protect our ports from marauding bands of corporate outsourcers, Susan Estrich pinched my ass and slipped her room key into my complimentary Pina Colada. Which would have been flattering had the dirty little party girl not called me “Shep.” Incidentally, the cheap bastards at the DNC really skimped on the rum. To the point where my complimentary Pina Colada tastes like tap water
July 28, 2004
the logistics of post-Edwarsian pragmatism, revisited
surfer guy 1: “Dude, I really need that ten bucks you owe me. Like, asap.” surfer guy 2: “Sorry, can’t help you, bro. Left all my cash in the other America.” surfer guy 1: “Oh. Bummer.”
July 28, 2004
A Poem from 1966, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brautigan, 2004 (twenty-first in a series)
“The Pomegranate Michael Moore Circus” I am desolate in dimension circling the sky like a rainy bird, wet from toe to crown wet from bill to wing. I feel like a drowned king at the pomegranate Michael Moore circus. I vowed last year that I wouldn’t go again but here I sit in my usual seat, dripping and clapping as the pomegranates go Michael Moore goes by in their metallic
July 28, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 10
After I torched Sean Hannity in an arm wrestling match this morning, I heard him mutter something to Paula Zahn about his “lingering tennis elbow.” To which I say, whatever happened to personal responsibility, Hannity? I mean, you didn’t hear Tony Snow making excuses when I pinned his ass, did you…? You whiny little bitch.
July 28, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 10
After I torched Sean Hannity in an arm wrestling match this morning, I heard him mutter something to Paula Zahn about his “lingering tennis elbow.” To which I say, whatever happened to personal responsibility, Hannity? I mean, you didn’t hear Tony Snow making excuses when I pinned his ass, did you…? You whiny little bitch.
July 28, 2004
Mother and Child reunion…
Tman asks, “Who’s the more foolish: the fool or the fool who follows him?” I suspect this to be a rhetorical question.
July 28, 2004
Mother and Child reunion…
Tman asks, “Who’s the more foolish: the fool or the fool who follows him?” I suspect this to be a rhetorical question.