me: “Just where do you think you’re going?” apple: “Church. It’s Sunday, right?” me: “Oh, yeah, it is, isn’t it?”
June 2004
June 26, 2004
The Michael Moore obviously loves cannolis poem
for Fahrenheit 911 Michael Moore obviously loves cannolis. Other- wise, he wouldn’t be such a rhino-hipped fatsack. coda (unless potato skins did it — which, I suppose, is just as plausible an explanation.)
June 26, 2004
Once accused a turkey sandwich of being racist because the bread wasn’t pumpernickle? That
Jesse who’s this now? Sorry, never heard of the guy.
June 26, 2004
Atkins hesitation, 6
For lunch today: A rack of Baby Back ribs with a Texas chili-barbecue Sauce, served with a side of creamy red-cabbage slaw and 3 lbs. sucralose-glazed ham (sliced, slathered with herb cream cheese and capers, rolled, then deep-fried in pepperoni grease and presented like enchiladas. Enchiladas made from ham. And topped with green salsa). For dessert: spiced pumpkins seeds and/or the Queensborough Bridge dipped in melted cheddar cheese. Trivia: In
June 26, 2004
Ethnic Shrapnel (or, overheard at a meeting of the House Armed Services Committee)
First General: “Wait, so how will they even know they’ve been shot by a Jew bullet?”* Second General: “That’s a good question. I really don’t have an answer –“ Rep. Neil Abercrombie (D-HI): “– Because first off, Jew bullets have a bigger nose — Rep. Curt Weldon (R-PA): “– and secondly, once they’ve gone clean through a target, Jew bullets pick themselves back up and use themselves a second time.
June 26, 2004
Brautigan, Revisited – an American love story
Chapter 21: Hatless in Bar Harbour Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10. Chapter 11. Chapter 12. Chapter 13. Chapter 14. Chapter 15. Chapter 16. Chapter 17. Chapter 18. Chapter 19. Chapter 20. When we first arrived in Boston, Liz arranged to borrow Robin’s Jeep for the week, a black and blue two-tone job with a beige
June 26, 2004
Revisionist History
As a corrective to Dick Cheney’s rather earthy language on the Senate floor yesterday, Michelle Malkin challenges readers to come up with their own profanity-free Patrick Leahy insults — a feat which, like coaxing Teddy Kennedy to sleep without benefit of a bottle of tequila and a pair of cheap Southie hookers, can be done, certainly….but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.
June 25, 2004
The Every Which Way But Loose bit player poem
Uh, excuse me, Mister, but your pet ape just took a dump on my Tabriz rug. Which, you’ll agree, is pretty friggin’ un-cool.
June 25, 2004
Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, abridged, 2
I’m pretty sure that doesn’t go there. But hey, whatever, I’m flexible.