Deadbeat neighbor: “So, is it true they cut that guy’s head off, the civilian?”* Me: “Yup.”* Deadbeat neighbor: “And then posted pictures of his body on the internet?” Me: “That’s what I hear, yeah.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Christ, I bet this opens up a real hornet’s nest here at home, you think?” Me: “Nope. Not unless the terrorists put a pair of women’s panties on his head before they sawed it
June 18, 2004
June 18, 2004
If asked, are also leaning toward accepting the Democratic Vice Presidential nomination, 2004
Angel hair pasta tossed in a light dill cream sauce Mulch Haricots verts Gustav Flaubert’s Madame Bovary The United Colors of Benetton* Argyle sweater vests / dress socks Che Guevara’s coffin The Massachusetts Department of Social Services Andrew Sullivan*
June 18, 2004
Atkins hesitation, 4
Take seven large eggs and the quartered heart of an adult bison and puree with 8 oz. of heavy cream, two tablespoons butter, and two cups shelled pistachio nuts. Sprinkle with nutmeg, black pepper, and shaved parmesan cheese. Top with a healthy dollop of sour cream. Serve in a tall glass with a side of steamed cauliflower. So. 5 lbs. gone, 10 lbs. to go — though I’d be lying
June 18, 2004
Conventional wisdom
From the New York Post’s Eric Fettman: The opening night of next month’s Democratic convention in Boston is set to feature an emotional party tribute to hometown hero Ted Kennedy, who has served in office longer than every other senator but one. Guess no one at the Democratic National Committee took a close look at the calendar: That July 26 salute to Teddy just happens to coincide with . .
June 18, 2004
A Poem from 1968, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brautigan, 2004 (fifteenth in a series)
The Quail There are three 911 quail in a cage next door and they are the sweet delight of our mornings, calling to us like small frosted cakes: bobwhitebobwhitebobwhite, but at night they drive our God-damn cat Jake but at night they drive that puffy lipidpirate Michael Moore crazy. They run around that cage like pinballs as he stands out there, [thick neck bibbed, knife and fork poking from pale
June 18, 2004
Smiley’s People
Ted Kennedy responds:* “Feh. What do the Russians know about spying, anyway…?” **** h/t michele update: This sounds eerily familiar to me, somehow…
June 18, 2004
For Cynthia Dunn, carpe diem is more than some pedestrian hedonist bromide
Cynthia: “I’d like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin’ else.”
June 18, 2004
I was just wondering…
Has anyone ever figured out definitively how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop™? Because let’s face it: turtles are remarkably stupid creatures, and I just plain don’t trust owls — winged nocturnal rodent muggers, the lot of ’em.