For lunch, I just had a 32 oz. block of Monterey Jack cheese, cut into little bite-size cubes and smothered with a spicy dijon mustard. For dessert, I had a stick of butter dipped in egg yolk. Which, that can’t be right, can it?
June 2004
June 14, 2004
A Poem from 1968, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brautigan, 2004 (thirteenth in a series)
The Way She Looks at It Every time I see him, I think: Gee, am I glad he’s not my old man. Michael Moore, [the grotesque, bacon-stuffed lardgoblin.]
June 14, 2004
Instant leftist boilerplate (just add spittle and stir)!
Blah blah right-wing Rumsfeld warmonger chickenhawk evil Bushies Wolwowitz and his neocon cabal for oiloiloiloiloiloil blah blah ignorant stupid bloodthirsty morons, the real axis of evil on a ranch in Crawford and blah blah blah no WMD he lied, Bushitler lied, people died died died tie-dyed peace peace peace down with the Zionists! peace peace Kyoto! they hate us they hate us they hate us and what can we do
June 14, 2004
Punk-ass riddle
Q: Why did former DC Mayor (and current DC City Council candidate) Marion Barry cross the road? A: For hookers and Crack, of course. Try to keep up.
June 14, 2004
Supreme Court to Newdow:
“…try minding your own business, Pops.”* **** update: Bill defends the right not to be offended by small inconveniences. Bible-thumping cousin of update: Bill continues to conflate religious freedom with what he perceives to be his “right” not to be confronted by language he construes might be injurious or coercive to a hypothetical, super-sensitive child.
June 14, 2004
Current Mood: John McClane, holed-up-in-Nakatomi-Plaza defeatism
Sgt. Al Powell: “How you feeling, partner?” McClane: “Pretty fucking unappreciated, Al.” Current favorite draft of a proposed law presented for approval to a legislative body / duck part / Bixby: bill
June 14, 2004
Have categorically denied rumors that they are interested in the Democratic Vice Presidential nomina
Bradley armored fighting vehicles 7″x12″ bubble mailers Boll weevils Welch’s grape-flavored soda The 2004 Honda Element (Fiji blue pearl 4WD) Pastrami on rye, extra lean Dannon yogart with real Kiwi Miss Poland John McCain
June 13, 2004
Alles klar, Herr Kommissar? (oder, schadenfreude)
Was ist los, Herr Schroeder? Haben Sie Ihre Vollmacht verloren? frisch hinzugef
June 13, 2004
Polling: the knock knock joke
Knock knock Who’s there? Former DC Mayor Marion Barry. No hookers here, sir. But you don’t understand — No Crack, either. Wait, I’m trying to tell you that I’m running for DC City Council — I have a gun. Go away.*
June 13, 2004
Revisionism (the Oliver Willis poem)
for Dawn W. Often, when scooping guacamole onto crispy corn tortilla chips, Oliver Willis wonders aloud: Had the pyramids been fashioned from Cool Ranch Doritos held firmly in place by creamed avocado paste, would Moses have bitched quite so much about his “people’s” so-called “predicament”…?