Blah blah right-wing Rumsfeld warmonger chickenhawk evil Bushies Wolwowitz and his neocon cabal for oiloiloiloiloiloil blah blah ignorant stupid bloodthirsty morons, the real axis of evil on a ranch in Crawford and blah blah blah no WMD he lied, Bushitler lied, people died died died tie-dyed peace peace peace down with the Zionists! peace peace Kyoto! they hate us they hate us they hate us and what can we do and root causes and root causes and blowback and Plame and Plame and Chalabi Plame Wilson blah blah blah unilateral multinational Halliburton Enronism crony capitalism and it’s all about oiloiloiloil blah blah blah, cowboyish disregard for allies, for the wishes of the world community who rise up against us, the terrorist threat is overblown and anyway, it’s all our fault because we gave Saddam his weapons to begin with, photo of Rummy and Hussein, but make no mistake, he no longer has those weapons because inspections worked, containment worked, and blah blah blah Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Sudan handle it, Roy, handle it handle it, Caspian pipeline oiloiloiloil blah blah blah show me the stockpiles, anthrax CIA plant Richard Clarke said so and we believe him because and unless unless unless Abu Ghraib Abu Ghraib Abu Ghraib, square-jawed cocksucking military jarhead torturing fucks, bring home our troops! We care about the troops! We support the troops and don’t you question our patriotism our love for this fucking filthy crass consumerist bullying country of redneck dolts and biblethumping bourgeois suburbanites with their SUVs and where are the CAFE standards fight the real terror, eco-terror, Israel, the US, imperialist colonialist racist homophobic hegemonic and blah blah blah blah blah because dissent is patriotism and fighting against your country is really fighting for your country and our dissent keeps the nation strong and we’re brave and heroic and up is down and black is white and oiloiloiloiloiloiloiloil blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.™
Just copy and paste and voila! You can be on your way in no time.
****
first posted extemporaneously in the comments section here, and similar to Ted Rall’s internal monologue in that both posts do in fact use words and free-form punctuation. protein wisdom apologizes for tying you down and forcing you to read it.
update: BillB provides the iconography, for those of you who wish to express yourselves in pictures rather than words.
Blah blah right-wing Rumsfeld warmonger chickenhawk evil Bushies Wolwowitz and his neocon cabal for oiloiloiloiloiloil blah blah ignorant stupid bloodthirsty morons, the real axis of evil on a ranch in Crawford and blah blah blah no WMD he lied, Bushitler lied, people died died died tie-dyed peace peace peace down with the Zionists! peace peace Kyoto! they hate us they hate us they hate us and what can we do and root causes and root causes and blowback blah blah blah unilateral multinational Halliburton Enronism crony capitalism and it’s all about oiloiloiloil blah blah blah, cowboyish disregard for allies, for the wishes of the world community who rise up against us, the terrorist threat is overblown and anyway, it’s all our fault because we gave Saddam his weapons to begin with, photo of Rummy and Hussein, but make no mistake, he no longer has those weapons because inspections worked, containment worked, and blah blah blah Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Sudan handle it, Roy, handle it handle it, Caspian pipeline oiloiloiloil blah blah blah show me the stockpiles, anthrax CIA plant Richard Clarke said so and we believe him because and unless unless unless Abu Ghraib Abu Ghraib Abu Ghraib, square-jawed cocksucking military jarhead torturing fucks, bring home our troops! We care about the troops! We support the troops and don’t you question our patriotism our love for this fucking filthy crass consumerist bullying country of redneck dolts and biblethumping bourgeois suburbanites with their SUVs and where are the CAFE standards fight the real terror, eco-terror, Israel, the US, imperialist colonialist racist homophobic and blah blah blah blah blah because dissent is patriotism and fighting against your country is really fighting for your country and our dissent keeps the nation strong and we’re brave and heroic and up is down and black is white and oiloiloiloiloiloiloiloil blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
You’re right! That was easy!
You had me at “chickenhawk.”
Scientists have named this “Halliburton Ernie Syndrome”.
In a nutshell: Ernie swipes one of Burt’s five cookies. Burt calls him on it. Ernie then rearranges the remaining four cookies on the plate over and over again hoping to somehow be able to count five cookies there.
The left can repeat that crap until they’re blue in the face, it won’t make it true.
You had me at “chickenhawk.”
Brilliant
You forgot one key component: PLASTIC TURKEY!!!!!
Great….now all my cut and pasting was for naught.
Blah blah right-wing Rumsfeld warmonger chickenhawk evil Bushies Wolwowitz and his neocon cabal for oiloiloiloiloiloil blah blah ignorant stupid bloodthirsty morons, the real axis of evil on a ranch in Crawford and blah blah blah no WMD he lied, Bushitler lied, people died died died tie-dyed peace peace peace down with the Zionists! peace peace Kyoto! they hate us they hate us they hate us and what can we do and root causes and root causes and blowback blah blah blah unilateral multinational Halliburton Enronism crony capitalism and it’s all about oiloiloiloil blah blah blah, cowboyish disregard for allies, for the wishes of the world community who rise up against us, the terrorist threat is overblown and anyway, it’s all our fault because we gave Saddam his weapons to begin with, photo of Rummy and Hussein, but make no mistake, he no longer has those weapons because inspections worked, containment worked, and blah blah blah Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Sudan handle it, Roy, handle it handle it, Caspian pipeline oiloiloiloil blah blah blah show me the stockpiles, anthrax CIA plant Richard Clarke said so and we believe him because and unless unless unless Abu Ghraib Abu Ghraib Abu Ghraib, square-jawed cocksucking military jarhead torturing fucks, bring home our troops! We care about the troops! We support the troops and don’t you question our patriotism our love for this fucking filthy crass consumerist bullying country of redneck dolts and biblethumping bourgeois suburbanites with their SUVs and where are the CAFE standards fight the real terror, eco-terror, Israel, the US, imperialist colonialist racist homophobic and blah blah blah blah blah because dissent is patriotism and fighting against your country is really fighting for your country and our dissent keeps the nation strong and we’re brave and heroic and up is down and black is white and oiloiloiloiloiloiloiloil blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
[edited for consistency – ed.]
Needs an illustration to go with it.
But you’re forgetting: Blah blah right-wing Rumsfeld warmonger chickenhawk evil Bushies Wolwowitz and his neocon cabal for oiloiloiloiloiloil blah blah ignorant stupid bloodthirsty morons, the real axis of evil on a ranch in Crawford and blah blah blah no WMD he lied, Bushitler lied, people died died died tie-dyed peace peace peace down with the Zionists! peace peace Kyoto! they hate us they hate us they hate us and what can we do and root causes and root causes and blowback and Plame and Plame and Chalabi Plame Wilson blah blah blah unilateral multinational Halliburton Enronism crony capitalism and it’s all about oiloiloiloil blah blah blah, cowboyish disregard for allies, for the wishes of the world community who rise up against us, the terrorist threat is overblown and anyway, it’s all our fault because we gave Saddam his weapons to begin with, photo of Rummy and Hussein, but make no mistake, he no longer has those weapons because inspections worked, containment worked, and blah blah blah Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Sudan handle it, Roy, handle it handle it, Caspian pipeline oiloiloiloil blah blah blah show me the stockpiles, anthrax CIA plant Richard Clarke said so and we believe him because and unless unless unless Abu Ghraib Abu Ghraib Abu Ghraib, square-jawed cocksucking military jarhead torturing fucks, bring home our troops! We care about the troops! We support the troops and don’t you question our patriotism our love for this fucking filthy crass consumerist bullying country of redneck dolts and biblethumping bourgeois suburbanites with their SUVs and where are the CAFE standards fight the real terror, eco-terror, Israel, the US, imperialist colonialist racist homophobic and blah blah blah blah blah because dissent is patriotism and fighting against your country is really fighting for your country and our dissent keeps the nation strong and we’re brave and heroic and up is down and black is white and oiloiloiloiloiloiloiloil blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
You almost had me for a second, until I realized you left out the words “hegemony” and “myopia”. Why, you’re not a leftist at all!
By the way, I love your blog.
Arghh! How could I forget hegemony? Must add it. Thanks for the heads up, Chris.
Finally, all the variations on the song of the barking moonbat in one location. Thanks
This would seem to be the foreign policy version of the Instant Leftist Boilerplate. Perhaps a domestic political version would be useful as a time saver as well that mentions poisoning our children with arsenic in the water (or Alar if you want a blast from the past that can bonus off Meryl Steep’s upcoming remake of “The Manchurian Candidate”), throwing old people into the streets, the explosion of homelessness, union busting, losing jobs to outsourcing—or at least not creating “good” jobs, greedy corporations putting profits before people, the dangers of homeschooling (amicus curae by the NEA), making the rich richer on the backs of the poor (the Bush economic hurricane sinking all boats), preventing minorities from voting (it’s a VRW conspiracy, I tell ya!) unless, of course, they are in the military, burning chuches, churning birches (clearcutting trees for veneer!), having a “selected” president instead of an elected president, the wickedness of the electoral college when Al Gore won the popular vote (damn the constituion, full speed ahead!), an extremist judiciary (i.e., one that limits itself to its constitutionally mandated powers), the NRA giving teflon coated bullets to kids outside schools for fun and profit, allowing fundamentalist Christian whackos to keep crosses in city seals and build those democracy destroying creches, the proliferation of “scary” assault weapons, opposition to on-demand state-funded abortions, not allowing cloning and stem cell research no matter what, wasting money on a destabilizing Star Wars pipe dream, reducing diversity at our colleges and universities by abandoning affirmative action policies in admissions, the chilling suppression of dissent by John Ashcroft’s jackbooted thugs, the permanent loss of civil liberties with the Patriot Act, the weakening the endangered species act, and not fawning at the feet of Noam Chomsky.
Actually, to save time, just take the highlights from a week’s worth of NPR transcripts and insert the requisite filler and segues to pull it all together. Oh, and don’t forget to use mostly caps and unusual punctuation—don’t want to hurt anyone’s self esteem by appearing all proper and grammatically correct, now do we?
YOu forgot SOFUS installed him against the will of the people…blah blah… hanging chads… blah blah blah… every vote should count… blah blah.
That’s SCOTUS sheeesh. I got to stop reding stuff about Micah Wright.
I still think “Rall by the roll” would be a snappier title.
Good Lord…how long must this have been backing up inside?!
May I borrow one these for my next letter to the Chicago tribune??
Wow. An allusion to “Carter Country” is buried in there. I haven’t heard anyone refer to that show in twenty years. That was a funny catch phrase, though.
Impressive, Jeff, and quite the public service. For it is only when brought together in this manner that this presidency can be fully appreciated, I think.
You have misrepresented a few things here, however. I know, for example, of no-one who thinks that we are responsible for terrorism because we gave weapons to Saddam. As a general rule, the those who opposed invading Iraq presupposed no link between the terrorists and Saddam’s, er, weapons. Nor does anyone I know believe that “tortuing jarhead fucks” are to blame for Abu Ghraib. First off, the MP’s were Army; and more to the point, each day is revealing that the tortuing fucks are in Justice, Defense and the White House (jurisprudential torture, if nothing else).
But what’s really intriguing me is, what caused you to post this originally, in the comments thread that you did? There’s scarcely anything spittly there. Sure, Darleen typically accused the left of eroding the nation’s soul, but to that one can only smile, like when gramma farts at Thanksgiving dinner: Oh, come on, she’s been cooking since dawn. The poor woman deserves the relief. More oyster dressing, ma?
So, what’s up? You hearing voices again? I hope so, because you’re really the shit when that happens.
I am SO borrowing (stealing) this. Brilliant.
When I find myself in times of trouble, William Perry comes to me…
Is that…you, Pa? I hear birds.
Laurence asked for an illustration.
picture link here
Howz that?
You forgot “Straw Men! It’s all a bunch of straw men!”
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