eg. “Is that your blunderbuss?” “Yes, that blunderbuss belongs to me.”
May 2004
May 19, 2004
A message to the good folks at Soloman Bakeries, occasioned by my lunch
No one has ever successfully negotiated a pita pocket. No one. And that’s because there’s simply no way to stuff one of those things with meat, cheese, tuna fish salad — name your filling — without tearing it. At which point it becomes a bland, bastardized, leaky and unleavened breadbowl. Innovative foodstuffs my ass. Just stop it. Stop it with all your pita lies.
May 19, 2004
Really, I’d like to know.
I don’t get it. Is it that scimitars are just so cool looking? Flowing robes are less restrictive than jeans? What? What’s the draw of self defeat…?
May 19, 2004
Really, I’d like to know.
I don’t get it. Is it that scimitars are just so cool looking? Flowing robes are less restrictive than jeans? What? What’s the draw of self defeat…?
May 19, 2004
Cecil Colson would like a bit of context
Cecil Colson: “Should I bring lots of rubbers?”
May 19, 2004
Cats. Bags. Sweet Release.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s supposed to be a conspiracy, remember…? (But while we’re fessing up… y’know that whole “Richard Gere visited a Hollywood emergency room with a gerbil trapped in his rectum” story? That was mine. Got tired of his yammering on about Tibet all the time. So.)
May 19, 2004
Cats. Bags. Sweet Release.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s supposed to be a conspiracy, remember…? (But while we’re fessing up… y’know that whole “Richard Gere visited a Hollywood emergency room with a gerbil trapped in his rectum” story? That was mine. Got tired of his yammering on about Tibet all the time. So.)
May 19, 2004
A Poem from 1968, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brautigan, 2004 (fifth in a series)
Insane Asylum Cannes Film Festival Part 8 Baudelaire Michael Moore went to the insane asylum Cannes Film Festival disguised as a psychiatrist rhino-hipped filmmaker. He stayed there for two months days and when he left, the insane asylum Cannes Film Festival loved him so much that it followed him all over California France, and Baudelaire Michael Moore laughed when the insane asylum Cannes Film Festival rubbed itself up against his
May 19, 2004
Instant Karma
Spc. Jeremy Sivits today pleaded guilty to criminal charges in the Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal and was sentenced to one year of being fed through an industrial plastic shredder. His sentence by a special court-martial judge includes discharge for bad conduct and demotion. Then the plastic shredder thing. And by “sentenced to one year of being fed through an industrial plastic shredder,” I really meant to write, “sentenced to one