“Did I ever tell you about the time I cut my hair short, Billy?  Turns out I looked so unlike an Indian that until my hair grew back I took to wearing a Poarch Creek porcupine roach headdress* and ribbon shirt just so people wouldn’t mistake me for a Norwegian sailor.”* “I hear you, brother.  Before I started wearing the hat? I would get propositioned in Arizona public toilets like,

Just admit that Jimmy Carter is a man whose accomplishments should be celebrated by every American, Hannity, and I’ll release you from my patented Colmesian Figure-Eight Leglock of Death…!

Wait, I thought it was we heavy-handed Americans—with our distended beer bellies and our fascistic PATRIOT ACT and our NASCAR-drunk lynch mobs roaming the streets disenfranchising brown-skinned voters—who were supposed to be the intolerant ones… Man.  We bumbling cowboys can’t even do hatred right.

Today’s revelations, courtesy the indefatigable Ms Sgrena (translated): The car kept on the road, going under an underpass full of puddles and almost losing control to avoid them. We all incredibly laughed. It was liberating. Losing control of the car in a street full of water in Baghdad and maybe wind up in a bad car accident after all I had been through would really be a tale I would

From the Jerusalem Post: “Syria to Expel Terror Leaders” Bowing to international pressure, Syria has ordered head of Hamas politburo Khaled Mashaal and Islamic Jihad leader Ramadan Shallah to leave Damascus. YOU ARE DRIVING GOVERNMENTS OF THE REGION RIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF THE TERRORISTS AND THEIR ENABLERS, MR BUSH!  YOUR INVASION OF IRAQ AND YOUR SO-CALLED “WAR ON TERROR” ARE THE SINGLE GREATEST GIFT YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN AL

From Bloomberg News: Giuliana Sgrena, the Italian reporter wounded on March 4 by U.S.-led forces after she was freed from her captors in Iraq, said the military may have targeted her deliberately. Question 1: why? Sgrena, 57, who had been held for one month in captivity, was injured and Italian intelligence officer Nicola Calipari was killed when coalition forces fired on their vehicle as it approached a Baghdad checkpoint. Writing

The Democrats’ march toward unintentional self-parody continues… For immediate release. Dear Colleague: Please join us in introducing the attached resolution, which requires the Justice Department and Department of Homeland Security to turn over all documentation in their possession about how James Guckert (also known as Jeff Gannon) gained access to White House press events. For nearly three years, the White House has been granting Mr. Guckert, a right-wing activist with