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June 2004

Talking back to 80s music, 23

Nein, all ist nicht klar. Und ruft mich nicht ‘der Kommissar,’ arschloch — Ich bin Jeff, lord des tanzes. “Der Kommissar,” Falco

Make a difference, why dontcha?

Well, I was going to paraphrase everything said here, then send you here, here, and here, but then I thought, what? — these people can’t follow links? Of course you can. So, y’know, off with you now. update: much more here.

Pardon my French

Overheard at Applebee’s, lunchtime, June 1. Young woman wearing black beret: “Je pense John Kerry

Scott Peterson’s Lament:  A Poem

Can I change my plea to ‘partial birth      abortion’?*

A few things found in Michael Moore’s fridge, the day after Memorial Day

Box of baking soda, half-full

Enemy Combatant, Redux

From the Washington Post: Jose Padilla, a U.S. citizen arrested in 2002 as he returned to the United States from Pakistan and accused of plotting to blow up radioactive “dirty bombs,” had been trained at an al Qaeda weapons camp in Afghanistan and had met repeatedly with top leaders of the terrorist network, who helped finance and equip his plans, a Justice Department official announced today. Among the key leaders

Pass DeWine, wouldya?

Here’s a feel good story: select Democrats and Republicans hope to bridge the partisan divide long enough to purchase some cheap grace with the jointly-sponsered Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act. Offered in the name of the children™, of course. Which is all very lovely, because who needs personal choice and individual freedom when your betters are kind enough to legislate your options for you? See also: alcohol and

Holy Missives

To:     Former Senator Gary Hart From:   Al Qaeda, Operations Division Re:     Attacking Denver, home of protein wisdom. Maps please, Gary. We need detailed maps. And don’t hesitate to forward along anything else you feel might be helpful. With kindest regards — Allahu Akbar, xxxxxxxx Al Qaeda senior staff and pawns cc: 72 virgins; operatives with no connection to Iraq, peace be upon them

3 Signs of the Apocalypse, or of something not quite the Apocalypse, but creepy nevertheless

1) Post-traumatic slave syndrome offered as murder defense. With a straight face. 2) Student plagiarist sues school for not warning him that passing off others’ work as his own was against the rules. 3) Al Gore

The very embodiment of counter-cultural sensibilities, Robert Dupea finds certain church practices q

Dupea: “I said don’t point at her, you pompous celibate!”