Demand 6: New alarm clocks should come equipped with a 2nd snooze button that wakes you up only when TV Land is running a “Night Court” marathon. (Previous list of demands here.) **** update: Cuz it’s 1, 2, 3, what’re we fightin’ 4? Don’t matter I don’t give a damn, next stop is, like, some SoHo coffee shop. For biscotti! **** update: Demand 7: Cancel “Biggest Loser”. Which is nothing

David Freddoso: Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr., D-Ill., was on the House floor just now during President Obama’s presser, offering a privileged resolution aimed squarely at Texas Gov. and Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry. The resolution is designed to extend the Washington Post’s coverage on the offensively named parcel of land that Perry’s father once leased for hunting. The resolution basically calls on Perry to apologize for the offensive name that

Pass my bill. Because all our problems are the fault of Bush, the Arab Spring, the European economy, the Japanese Tsunami, House Republicans, Senate Republicans, Wall Street, Big Oil, Big Coal, Big Light Bulbs, China, and Hank Williams — and the only solution is my new spending bill. Which is already paid for (that 5% surcharge on millionaires? Rainy day fund!). And more government investment in green energy. I will

Audio and statement here.

— Which, if I understand current DOJ policy on prosecutions, makes perfect sense, given that Holder is a black man down for the struggle, and so shouldn’t be subject to prosecution to begin with. See? Non story. Jesus, it’s like some of you people haven’t been paying attention.

Which, if it works, could conceivably end in a scenario in which Debbie Wasserman Schultz and the Democrats work to redefine Obama as a Republican so that he actually stands a chance in the 2012 elections. No, really. It could happen. I mean, they’re already working on tying Marxism to Reagan. Is touting Obama as a Republican alternative to Republicans really that farfetched?

I can’t make it to the Occupy Wall Street protests — my mom backs the Man and so won’t buy me a plane ticket, the bitch — so I’ve decided to occupy our den. Demand 1: Hot Pockets! **** update: Demand 2: Move the microwave into the den to make better use of Demand 1: Hot Pockets! **** update 2: What do I want? Hot Pockets! When do I want

Or, in other words, Reid and the Dems propose to vote on a bill that allows them to take money from private citizens and manage it themselves, divvying it up in order to, in effect, purchase the kinds of jobs they believe the market needs. Like for instance, more solar panel factories, or more money for teachers (and therefore teachers’ unions. And therefore right back to the Dems, newly laundered).

Okay. So I made up that last bit. Still.

Somewhere, Professor Ric Caric struggles for ways to declare Arnold S. Trebach, Chief of the Administration of Justice Section, U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, 1960-63, an unreconstructed racist — “race neutrality” being, as it is, the height of racism, while political racialism and racial racketeering is the mark of the highest form of racial consciousness. Trebach: For decades this nation has followed a bizarre racial path in which discrimination in