I can’t make it to the Occupy Wall Street protests — my mom backs the Man and so won’t buy me a plane ticket, the bitch — so I’ve decided to occupy our den. Demand 1: Hot Pockets!
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update: Demand 2: Move the microwave into the den to make better use of Demand 1: Hot Pockets!
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update 2: What do I want? Hot Pockets! When do I want them? Now! And then again at, say, 6-ish!
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update 3: Demand 3: several napkins. And maybe some soda water. Turns out fighting the Man in a white t-shirt has its drawbacks.
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update 4: Hey hey, ho ho, these stupid plastic slipcovers my capitalist pig of a bourgeois mother put on the divan have got to go!
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update 5: Demand 4: to affect social change, one must master the pop culture ethos. Which one can’t be expected to do on a stupid 21″ TV. Or with basic cable.
Get with the times, Mom. I mean, for fuck’s sake.
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update 6: Dear Comrades also engaged in Fighting the Powers: Sorry I missed the last 2 hours or so of our struggle, but in my defense, whenever Mom runs the vacuum cleaner I get really really sleepy.
How do they tell the agent provocateurs from their real “leadership”? I could swear sometimes that the folks from Protest Warriors are leading the parade over there (Should we knit our own sleeping bags or buy them from The Man?).
It’s hilarious that this “grassroots” campaign has immediately attracted prog politician and unions support in just two weeks. Do you remember the Chamber of Commerce, National Association of Manufacturers, and Establishment Republican Party participating in the Tax Day TEA Party rallies of 2009?
I’m gonna work my way down there sometime tomorrow or Friday. I just have to.
I put up some quotes and links on the “Occupy Wall Street” thread.
Watch yourself Jeff. Next move is
your momThe Man will cut off the cable and WiFi and then lock the door. Call for drum circle help before that happens.I am singlehandedly staging an occupation of the West Georgia Farmers’ Auction in LaGrange, Georgia!
By singlehandedly I mean with my butt, since I’m using my hands to do things like type, and move the mouse. And by occupation I mean I’m in solidarity with any brethren who might also think the WGFA needs to be occupied but can’t actually physically occupy it, because it’s actually just a mail drop in a strip mall.
But we are taking it to The Man, bitchaz!
Help/hope is on the way.
Unity – Solidarity – Progress – Forever.
All Hail the General Assemblies of the People.
Welcome to the Douchebag Revolution.
FREE THE PATCHOULI!!
PS: This morning, tired of my second-class status, I occupied the master bath for a good 20 minutes!
BOO-YAH!
Not sure where that place would be, other than maybe “The Fed sucks.”
Me, I gotta go buy some Hank Williams Jr. albums and a Slushee.
BIG supporter weighs in with some 100% pure projection-vomiting. Watch your Hot Pockets well.
“They may take our game-controllers, but they’ll never take our COMIC BOOKS!”
If you hadn’t lost your cellphone in the mud at the Phish show you might call her and ask her to hit up Costco on her way home from the bank.
“Diary of a man who is only trying to make a difference in Obama’s fundamentally transformed America” is this you?
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ur0hpKMofu0/ToxAn4-jgII/AAAAAAAAJZY/7NrZ4kcYq8g/s400/owsmomsbasement.jpg
Note to self: Next time you think the URL might be marginally on the long side, use tinyurl.
Inevitable:
#OccupyWallStreetMovies
Dude, Where’s My Czar?
THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE SOCIALISTS
Afterbirth of a Nation
The Crying Game
Dude, Where’s My Handout?
How Green Were My Dreadlocks
From Here to Insolvency
The Non-Producers
How To Not Succeed In Business Without Really Trying
Harry Squatter and The Philosophy Degree
Children of a Lesser IQ
Czar Wars
Check it out: #OccupyWallStreetMovies is trending, but #OccupyWallStreet is not.
Maybe there’s help for the Republic after all.
Kernel of the wobblies
The Owwwies, they be fraught
They gots an awful boo-boo
Let’s fix ’em: give them naught
MooooooMMMM — where’s the MEATLOAF!
Raiders of the Lost Cause.
Ann Coulter clarifies the differences between the original Tea Party, the current TEA Party, and the Occupy Wall Street horde:
Of course, Coulter has an established reputation as being extraordinarly Unhelpful, so best ignore her.
ba haa haaa …
I had to read this to my teenage son, Jeff.
Although …. I think the revolution is spreading. My kids are demanding Hawaiian Punch.
Except, of course, Ann Coulter is WRONG.
This is exactly what democracy looks like. This is why the Founders usually referred to it as “mobocracy” and tried their damndest to set up a republican form of government.
Not hilarious. That’s the plan. This is what
democracyastroturf looks like.[…] would like you all to know that he has some demands, too: “I can’t make it to the Occupy Wall Street protests — my mom backs the Man and so […]
[…] list of demands here.) Posted by Jeff G. @ 11:37 am Comments (0) | Trackback […]
Your first mistake? You should have demanded a pop tart.
Did I say Astroturf? Why, yes. I believe I did.