No, I haven’t forgotten.  But I’m afraid our little friend has.  Otherwise he’d be here now, ready to dance—and not calling me from some filthy body art parlor, frantic, unable to slide back into his shell because his stupid Goth girlfriend with the enormous tongue stud talked him into getting his wee armadillo nipples double pierced. Poor sap.

Insists that the thirty-eighth President of the United States was “a young Jimmie Walker” Refers to the Supreme Court decision ending school segregation as The Kennedys v. a Klan of Racist Rightwing Nutters who Hate America Attributes the theory of relativity to “my very brilliant friend, Lanny Davis” Criticizes the Israelis for “illegally occupying” several dorm rooms during the 1972 Munich Olympics Is “pretty sure” Mumia is already free Winner

Deviled eggs all on my plate Ate three, things just don’t seem the same Actin’ funny, but I don’t know why ’scuse me while I eat some pie Deviled eggs all around Don’t know if I can keep them down Am I happy or in misery? That damn paprika put a spell on me Damn, woman Them eggs fresh? Oh, no, no [sound of splashing] Vomitin’ Talkin’ ’bout huggin the

Does this mark me as pro-choice?  Or pro-life…? Because I gotta tell you, I’m having real trouble deciding which mailing list to sign up for.

Man, these inconvenient non-ties between Iraq and transnational terrorism just keep piling up. I mean, I’m to the point where if Keith Olbermann and Howard Dean weren’t so darn certain about there being no connection whatever between Saddam and terrorists, I’d be getting a little suspicious.  Which, that could put a good-sized dent in my woldview. So please.  Stop it, I beseech you.  We’re beyond this.  Bush lied.  LIED!  SO

From the AP, “Pope Warns of Increase in Anti-Semitism”: Pope Benedict XVI warned Friday of rising anti-Semitism and hostility to foreigners, winning a standing ovation from members of Germany’s oldest Jewish community during a visit to a rebuilt synagogue that had been destroyed by the Nazis. With the shrill sound of a ram’s horn and a choir chanting in Hebrew “peace be with you,” Benedict became only the second pope