If you haven’t yet voted in the JIB awards (you’re only allowed one vote), please consider doing so now. Because having been sniped at by a few of the chosen people, I’m no longer satisfied with a win; instead, I want to beat my competitors so badly that their mothers begin bragging about me come Mahjong night. That’s right. How you like me now, Yosef? **** update: Who’s your daddy,
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February 10, 2005
The “Oliver Willis by proxy” post (first in a series)
“ARROGANT WARMONGERING PERSIAN-HATING COWBOY CHIMP!”* There. Piece of cake. **** update: catchy!
February 10, 2005
University of Colorado Ethnic Studies professor and anti-American firebrand Ward Churchill and 70s Kung-fu expert and counterculture icon Billy Jack engage in a bit of faux-Native American chest puffery
“You hear about that chick who scalped a teenager last month? Well, I like to think my work in raising the profile of oppressed Native Americans had something to do with that little bit of authentic American justice.’”* “Sometimes—just for fun—I refer to corn as ‘maize.’ And there’s not a damn thing the Man can do about it.” **** More here and here.
February 9, 2005
An outraged Janeane Garofalo confronts her US Postal carrier
Garofalo: “A fucking Reagan stamp? Christ, why not just put Hitler on Mount Rushmore, or Rush Limbaugh on the dollar bill?” US Postal carrier: “Look at my hat, lady. Would someone with the power to decide who goes on a postage stamp be wearing a hat like this? “Now hurry up and sign for your package. You’re not my only stop, you know.”*
February 9, 2005
Anybody know the Hebrew phrase for “baby pussy”?
click pic! **** update: Post reopened at the request of DovBear. protein wisdom is nothing if not a giver.
February 9, 2005
Deuteronomy 20:9
“And it shall be, when the officers have made an end of speaking unto the people, that they shall make captains of the armies to lead the people.”*
February 9, 2005
Wisdom of Solomon 8:11
“I shall be found keen in judgment, and in the sight of rulers I shall be admired.”*
February 9, 2005
1 Samuel 25:39-42
“Then David sent and wooed Abigail, to make her his wife. When David’s servants came to Abigail at Carmel, they said to her, ‘David has sent us to you to take you to him as his wife.’ She rose and bowed down, with her face to the ground, and said, ‘Your servant is a slave to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.’ Abigail got up hurriedly and
February 9, 2005
Leviticus 15:1-6 (or, a reminder to my readers)
“The LORD gave Moses and Aaron the following regulations for the people of Israel. When any man has a discharge from his penis the discharge is unclean, whether the penis runs with it or is stopped up by it. Any bed on which he sits or lies is unclean. Anyone who touches his bed or sits on anything the man has sat on must wash his clothes and take a
February 8, 2005
AS A CITIZEN JOURNALIST, I DEMAND TO GO BACK IN TIME AND HAVE A GORGEOUS PHYS-ED TEACHER ENGAGE ME IN THE KIND OF ILLICIT SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP THAT WILL GIVE ME LOCKER ROOM BRAGGING RIGHTS FOR THE REST OF MY OBVIOUSLY CHARMED LIFE
“…er, would you like me to climb the rope for you again, Ms Turner? Because I’d be happy to climb the rope for you again…”*